Weed, the favorite aphrodisiac of the GODS.

Natural ways to improve your sex life

A shaman, or medicine man, is not only an expert in the use of plants for healing and religious purposes, but also to make sure that the members of his (or her) tribe produce sufficient offspring. Many ancient rituals were known as “fertility rites”, during which participants ingested special herb mixtures to improve their potency and sexual drive. Some of these rites were orgiastic in nature, strenghtening the sense of community amongst its members. Many of these societies were matrilineal, in other words: family lines were traced through the mothers rather than the fathers. Such tribes held the feminine in high regard, and often had a Goddess (the “Great Mother”) as their supreme deity. Later societies became much more patriarchal, with a male God who condemned sex for pleasure.

The science of aphrodisiacs (“love potions”) was an important aspect of Ayurveda, the medicinal system of ancient India, and many other traditions throughout the world. Although many aphrodisiacs have no scientific basis but are instead the result of primitive superstition (for example the use of animal products like the horns of a rhinoceros), many of the herbs that have been used for millenia do indeed increase the flow of blood to the genitals, or alter one’s consciousness in a way that’s beneficial to lovemaking.

Aphrodisiacs

Aphrodisiacs are meant to improve the sexual potency and endurance, but are meant for healthy individuals. Contrary to modern pharmaceuticals, they do not artificially stimulate an erection. They may strengthen the erection, but if there’s no sexual stimulus, the effects will hardly be noticed.

The products on our website are not medicines, and should not be taken as such. They enhance but do not cure. This means they are milder, safer and generally don’t have side-effect. Many manufacturers and webshops use terms like “herbal Viagra” to attract customers, but the fact is that no herb or combination of herbs can ever match the effects of synthetic pharmaceuticals.

Popular products

There are a couple of herbs and nutrients that are included in practically every “herbal V” formula on the market. We’ll discuss these below. But first let us discuss one herb that’s never included, because it’s illegal in most countries, and is best ingested by smoking or using a vaporizer. That herb is, some of you might have guessed, cannabis.

Cannabis

In various Hindu texts cannabis is glorified as the favorite aphrodisiacs of the gods. Experience confirms that cannabis adds an interesting dimension to one’s love making. It doesn’t increase the blood flow to the genitals like other aphrodisiacs do, but it alters one’s state of mind in such a way that makes having sex so much more pleasurable, both for him and her.

Although cannabis has some side effects that may be experienced as bothersome, particularly dry mouth and cold hands, it’s a muscle relaxant and tends to put one in a patient and “devotional” state of mind, in which pleasure of the partner is seen as much more important than one’s own gratification. Cannabis combines well with tantric techniques (described further below), aimed at delaying orgasm.

There’s no doubt that psychedelics, like shrooms and LSD, can give amazing sexual experiences. However, because of the unpredictable nature of these substances, and their long duration, they are rarely taken for their aphrodisiacal qualities alone. Especially on a higher dosage it’s difficult to stay focused, as one may easily become distracted by external and internal stimuli. There is however considerable evidence that in the fertility rites mentioned above, natural psychedelics played a central role. It’s also obvious from the sexual freedom practiced and promoted by the hippies that psychedelic drugs enhance sexual expression and release one from outdated moral restrictions (Western culture’s puritan past).

Maca

Although popular, Maca (Lepidium meyenii) doesn’t have a strong or immediate effect. It contains various nutrients that make one more healthy and virile, but sexual arousal is generally not enhanced. Maca is useful for both men and women. It gives energy, reduces anxiety and supports the endocrine system. Maca has also been shown to improve sperm production, sperm motility, and semen volume. Because of Maca’s low strength, it’s best to take either an extract, or mix a larger quantity of Maca powder through a drink, and take it on a daily basis.

Damiana

Damiana (Turnera diffusa) is one of the best natural and legal aphrosiacs around. It gives a mild “high” that lasts approximately 2 hours, and which is very conducive to romance and love making. Damiana is also suitable for both men and women. For a significant dose, it’s best to get damiana leaves and make a tea, or mix some damiana powder through a drink. If taken on an empty stomach the effects will be noticable within 20 minutes.

Horny Goat Weed

Horny Goat Weed (Epimedium) is a herb that was well known in Traditional Chinese Medicine but is now widely available throughout the world. The active ingredient is icariin, which is said to work by increasing levels of nitric oxide, relaxing smooth muscle, resulting in increased blood pressure within the penis. It’s one of the most reliable natural aphrodisiacs, especially suitable for men.

L-arginine

This is a common amino acid that, when taken in higher doses, increases the level of nitric oxide, thus giving an effect similar to the one described for Horny Goat Weed. Modern “spanish fly” productsgenerally contain L-arginine rather than substances derived from insects. To experience an optimal effect, L-arginine is best taken on an empty stomach.

Tantra

Tantra is a term that’s often used to describe methods of merging sexuality and spirituality, and either delaying orgasm or forgoing it altogether. It’s beyond the scope of this article to give a detailed account of tantric techniques, but the following information is worth mentioning.

A common problem amongst teenagers, and adults as well, is premature orgasm. If one simply gives in to one’s impulses, orgasm will come very quickly. This is how nature has designed our bodies: to optimize chances of reproduction, ejaculation of sperm must come quickly. Naturally, the person to have orgasm first is the man, to the disappointment of the woman. To avoid this problem, one must take it very slow, especially in the beginning. There is even a “sexual position” named Kareeza, wherein the partners simply embrace eachother, without moving. For those who regularly experience a premature orgasm, this may actually be a great way to start. After extended foreplay and then penetration, simply embrace eachother for 2 to 5 minutes, without moving. This will allow the highly aroused nervous system to relax a bit, while the excretion of bodily fluids helps to reduce friction. If one then starts to move again, slowly at first, it will take much longer before he gets to the point of no return. And if the man feels he’s nearing that point of no return, he can simply switch back to Kareeza for a couple of seconds or minutes. If he becomes experienced in this method, it’s possible to get to a stage where even very fast movement will not result in a premature orgasm, and the love making may last as long as he wants.

Not only his partner will benefit from this approach: a delayed orgasm tends to be much stronger and pleasurable than one that’s reached within one or five minutes. One also raises the chance of climaxing together, which is extremely pleasing, especially for lovers.

Books

In our book store we’ve got a couple of books on the history and usage of natural aphrodisiacs, and related topics.

The Magical & Ritual Use of Aphrodisiacs by Richard Allan Miller

The Magical & Ritual Use of Herbs by Richard Allan Miller

Sacred Mushrooms of the Goddess by Carl Ruck

PIHKAL, a Chemical Love Story

source: http://azarius.net/encyclopedia/67/Sex/

Sex and Weed

Have you ever sat back and considered how sex and weed are truly so similar?

You set out with intention

Cultivating the experience

With the right environment

Growing together

Now full-bodied and readied

Feel ecstasy, the passion

Bursting

Everything blooms

Euphoria

Experience the immaculate

Sensations

So many ways to feel

So many ways to touch, taste, penetrate you

So many ways to consume

Hash burning so hot

Smoke, vapors rising

Then just like that

It’s gone

The people

The plants

The smoke circle

The dance

The high

The chance

To let go

To feel good

To be in and out of your body at the same damn time

Never again to exist in the very same way

Never again to be replicated just so

Your memories the proof

Your nerves the reminder

Your mind’s eye set to wonder

Find the same high

So beautiful

Will you find her

~ Ganja Vibes

by HeatherB

Be Careful Not to Criminalize Fantasies

The power of fantasy lies in the capacity to explore, without restriction, the inner recesses and outer limits of our psyche. For many, it is enough to have the imaginary encounter, and it need never be breathed to another soul. For others, the desire to explore the fantasy takes hold and pushes us to seek like-minded explorers with whom we can share our innermost desires. In our everyday lives we are limited by morality, legality and prevailing social mores, but we are free to dive into rich and florid — or even lurid — fantasies safely in our minds.

For those who have explicit fantasies that seem outside of the sexual “norm,” there can be a great deal of shame and guilt associated with the exploration of these themes, even in the privacy of one’s own thoughts. Some shun these desires as “deviant” and seek to banish them. For others, the drive to manifest the fantasy is irresistible. The longing for validation can motivate people to overcome strict upbringings, banish guilt and shame, and find camaraderie. It can push them to find or create space where those desires won’t be judged, but instead shared. It can be an incredible relief to know you’re not “the only one” with your particular “kink.”

With negotiation and consent, it can be healthy to discuss and explore explicit fantasies that seem outside of the sexual norm.

Many people find such a safe space in an online community where all the participants share fantasies of extreme sexual adventure. The communities should be all about consent: all parties consent to be a part of the conversation, and, if there is any thought that the secret desire should manifest, consent must be explicit, ongoing and mutual.

Fantasizing is healthy. Talking about fantasies with others can be healthy. Negotiating and fulfilling fantasies with consenting parties can be healthy. None of this should be illegal. But planning to fulfill your fantasy upon an unwitting stranger without his or her consent has no place in the practice of consensual BDSM. Objectifying other human beings – making them the fodder for your fantasies – is not necessarily a violation of consent. However, if the fantasy is to manifest, mutual consent, negotiation and personal safety are of paramount importance.

Manifesting an “edgy” fantasy is something that is negotiated and proceeds only if all parties involved actively consent to participate. In the BDSM realm, the gray area between fantasy and reality is full of negotiation: mutual expression of desire, consent, agreements to terms of safety, arrangements for after-care, etc. For instance, if I have a fantasy of being overpowered and ravaged, it absolutely does not mean that I have a desire to be abducted and sexually assaulted by a stranger. That fantasy might simply be a daydream I use to explore my own private pleasure. And yes, I may even choose to explore it with another consenting partner. However, transparency in motive and careful negotiation of how to bring the fantasy to fruition is absolutely necessary.

By seeking out like-minded people online and offline, you increase the opportunity to bring a secret desire to reality – blissful, risky, exhilarating and healthy reality.

Mollena Williams, an alternative sexuality educator and blogger, is a co-author of “Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities.”

Sex Addiction

We all have something to ‘deal with’. It’s important to know where behaviors stem from. Resentment, blame, shame, regret and all of the negative feelings adopted don’t have to exist. Understanding, love & forgiveness are so important. Always remember, in times of turmoil and uncompromising states of mind, to state- “this is me deal with it or leave it” is doing everyone, including yourself, a disservice. Your actions are chosen ‘behaviors’ which can change. Don’t sell yourself short.

http://www.sexaddictionscounseling.com/

Sex Addictions Counseling

Dr. Rory Reid of UCLA did research in 2007 and 2011 in which groups of men in treatment for sex addiction were assessed for ADHD and in which 23%-26% were found to meet the criteria for adult ADHD. Almost all of these (97%) were of the “predominantly inattentive type” rather than being predominantly hyperactive. (The prevalence of ADHD in the general population is 3-5% according to Reid.)

Can impulsivity or low self-concept explain the correlation?

Dr. Reid also gathered evidence about whether ADHD might be “driving” sex addiction due to the impulsivity of people with attention deficit as children.

He found that it is not impulsivity but the detrimental affects on self-esteem suffered by children with ADHD that causes them to seek to self-medicate with drugs or sex to cope with their poor self concept and low self confidence. (This argument rests on the fact that many adults with ADHD began as children with ADHD.)

The low self-esteem explanation makes sense in light of the fact cited by Dr. Reid that 11-35% of people with chemical dependency and pathological gambling also have adult ADHD.

Perhaps ADHD is so hard on children’s self esteem that they look for any drug they can find to cope with the pain. As children, virtually the only drug available is sexual self-soothing.

Posttraumatic dissociation may look like ADHD

Dr. Patrick Carnes has talked about sex addiction as, among other things, an “Attention Deficit Disorder.”

Problems that resemble what we think of as Attention Deficit Disorder are evident in those cases where the person has a traumatic history leading to dissociative splitting, or dissociative avoidance. In such cases the person cannot stay present and focused due to automatic reactions of fear learned earlier in life. They “zone out” or freeze.

Most sex addicts have experienced trauma in the form of disturbances in their early attachment bonds to their parents or caretakers. Maybe the addict’s inattentiveness and poor ability to focus in addicts is related to childhood experiences.

Diagnosing ADHD

I have worked with dozens of kids diagnosed with ADHD. It seemed to me that most of them had problematic attachment histories and dysfunctional families. I suspected that a large number of them were experiencing various trauma reactions, including dissociation rather than true ADHD. (The best assessments for ADHD incorporate a battery of neuropsychological measures rather than relying on pencil and paper tests. Such tests are more discriminating but they are not routinely used.)

So maybe these children were protecting themselves from stressful or traumatic life experiences like rejection, abandonment threats, or outright abuse by dissociating as a way to numb the pain.

As adults such people would “meet the criteria” for ADHD when in fact they simply had a life-long post traumatic response of detaching their attention and zoning out. These people would also be at risk for sex addiction and other addictions.

But this implies that many more addicts should have ADHD-like symptoms such as inattentiveness and distractability. In reality maybe they do.

Many sex addicts report ADHD symptoms when asked

More sex addicts feel that they have ADHD than are professionally assessed as meeting the criteria for ADHD. Dr. Reid also reported a study in 2004 in which sex addicts filled out self-report questionnaires. That study found that 67% of sex addicts subjectively reported symptoms of ADHD! This finding supports the idea that there is something else going on, something like post-traumatic splitting or dissociation.

The difficult question is which came first, a “true” attention deficit disorder followed by low self esteem and later by addiction, or the early stressful attachment history followed by all of the above?

Human Sexuality

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

Christopher Ryan, Ph.D. & Cacilda Jethá, M.D.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback.

One of NPR’s Favorite Books of 2010.

Winner of the 2011 SSTAR Consumer Book Award (Society for Sex Therapy & Research), and the Foundation for the Scientific Study of Sexuality’s Harriet and Ira Reis Theory Award in Sexology for 2011.

A Best Book of 2010 (Audible.com). 

“The single most important book about human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948.”
— Dan Savage

“Funny, witty, and light . . . the book is a scandal in the best sense, one that will have you reading the best parts aloud and reassessing your ideas about humanity’s basic urges well after the book is done.”
— Newsweek

“[Sex at Dawn] helps put the ‘human’ back in ‘human sexuality.’”
— AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists)

On an almost daily basis we are inundated with stories about the collapse of the latest celebrity marriage—and infidelity is almost always the cause of the break up. Is it even possible for two people to stay together happily over an extended period of time? Since Darwin’s day, we’ve been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. But it doesn’t, and never has.

Mainstream science—as well as religious and cultural institutions—has long maintained that men and women evolved in nuclear families where a man’s possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman’s fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married and divorce rates keep climbing while adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.

In SEX AT DAWN, renegade researchers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá debunk almost everything we “think we know” about sex.

Ryan and Jethá show how our promiscuous past haunts our current struggles regarding monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. Some of the themes they explore include:

• why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many;
• why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens;
• why many middle-aged men risk everything for an affair;
• why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and
• what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality

Ryan and Jethá show that our ancestors lived in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, often overlooked evidence from anthropology, archeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature sexual monogamy really is. They expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.

In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, SEX AT DAWNunapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do. A controversial, idea-driven book that challenges everything you know about sex, marriage, family, and society.

Paperback edition was released on July 5, 2011.

Sex at Dawn is available now in the U.S, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Finland, Spain, and Korea. Coming soon in Japanese, Chinese, Polish, Ukrainian, Russian, Romanian, Slovenian, Czech, and Albanian. If you know any publishers in Germany, France, Italy, or Portugal, tell them to get with the program already!

Check out Christopher’s blogs at Psychology Today and Huffington Post.
To say hello, request an interview or media appearance, please use the contact form on this site.

source: http://www.sexatdawn.com/

Love Children

Like the epic music festivals of yesteryear, we wonder how many love children will be born from this Cannabis Movement?!

5 Truths About Sexual Fetishes (A Dominatrix’s Perspective)

The stereotype goes that when it comes to sex, men are as simple-minded as dogs. (“Come on, we all know guys are only after one thing!”) Well, as someone with a few years’ experience as a dominatrix and phone sex operator, I’m here to tell you that could not possibly be more wrong. Male desire ranges from the merely kinky to the incredibly bizarre, and men are often so tortured by it that they’re not comfortable talking to anyone about it — not their closest friends, and certainly not their wives.

But they are comfortable talking to me, and here’s what I’ve found over the years …

#5. Certain Fantasies Are Way, Way More Common Than You’d Think

Hill Street Studios/Blend Images/Getty Images

Before becoming a professional phone sex operator and in-person ball crusher, I knew that men thought about sex a lot — but I didn’t realize just how deep and creative their fantasies could be. Inside every pervert beats the heart of a Tolstoy.

Photos.com
And sometimes they want to be beat with War and Peace.

Phone sex isn’t cheap, at least good phone sex isn’t, and in-person dom sessions can at the high end cost as much as a used car. So the vast majority of my clientele are upper-middle-class guys in their 40s to 60s — I have a slew of doctors, lawyers, professors, business executives, and even a minister or two, all of whom have elaborate fantasy worlds they seem to use as a kind of relief valve to alleviate some of the stress of their high-power positions. I’m just the Sherpa that guides them through their kink.

For instance, one thing that hit me about this job is the insane amount of men who fantasize about being feminized and humiliated, or forced to cross dress. Men cross-dress for a ton of different reasons, but the most surprising thing is just how incredibly common it is. In my daily life, I find myself looking at guys’ asses to check for panty lines. And I find them, constantly.

Siri Stafford/Digital Vision/Getty Images
“Boyshorts, dude. Support and concealment.”

I’d also say about 75 percent of my callers have homosexual-type fantasies, a lot of whom hate that they have them. I had a caller the other day get freaked out that he was getting so turned on by the thought of getting down on his knees and sucking his girlfriend’s (fantasy) cock. He hung up, then called back to apologize. I had to tell him that fantasizing about a dick in your mouth doesn’t necessarily make you gay (“Honey, calm down. Most cultures consider the phallus a symbol of power. You may just getreally turned on about submitting to your girlfriend”).

If that makes it sound like what I do is more a form of therapy than a sexual outlet, well, it’s both. But we’ll come back to that in a moment …

#4. The Fetishes Often Have Shockingly Little to Do With Sex

MSPhotographic/iStock/Getty Images

When you think of phone sex, you probably imagine a woman’s breathy voice saying that she’s lying on her bed, wearing her favorite black lace lingerie, and that you sound so hot she just has to touch herself. After that, you get a soundtrack to your wank session composed of moaning and her telling you what a stud you are.

In real life, not so much. I’ve found most guys would rather watch free porn than spend $1.99 per minute for something so mundane (thanks Internet), so the guys who call me are looking for … something a little different.

ori-ori/iStock/Getty Images
“You’re a fuck dragon; your name is Falcor. I start scratching you behind your ear …”

Like the shrinking fetishists. That’s a really common phone fantasy — they like me to describe them shrinking down to about an inch in height, give or take, then picking them up, dropping them in the toilet, and flushing them away. Then there’s the vore guys (as in “carnivore”) — guys who fantasize about being eaten. I have one who likes me to describe how I will truss him up, put him in a big roasting pan (complete with chopped-up carrots, potatoes, celery, and onions), sprinkle him with salt and pepper (he always manages to sneeze for me when we get to that part), baste him in butter (“Ohhh it’s sooo slippery isn’t it, having that butter drip all over your body …”), and pop him in the oven (at 450 degrees).

Jack Puccio/iStock/Getty Images
Slow and low at 275 if it’s payday.

Sometimes I get to play a more traditional sex icon, like with the guy who likes me to be dressed as a Playboy bunny … then magically turn him into a carrot, use the carrot as a dildo, and eat him (the grossest part is he wants me to dip him in ranch dressing to eat … I hate ranch). And it’s my job to walk him through it, in extreme detail. “Close your eyes. I want you to feel the tips of your fingers getting longer, your legs merge together, an orange tinge comes to your skin, your hair gets leafy.”

jrwasserman/iStock/Getty Images
“Rinse me, but don’t peel … leave it a little dirty …”

Then there are the looners (as in “balloon fetishists,” not “lunatics”). They like to hear balloons being blown up and popped. That’s it — I have taken calls on my cellphone while walking into a store, buying a 100 pack of balloons, sitting in my car blowing them up, then popping them. All of them.

Photos.com
In real life I always use a condom.

And then there’s the yak guy. He just wants me to carry on our conversation in the language of the yak people. We talk about the weather, sports, news, music, and movies all in a made-up yak language. It’s hard to find somebody who’ll play along with something like that, without judging, or getting weirded out. That’s why I have a job.

Some of these fetishes I understand, some I don’t — I understand how the endorphin rush of pain might turn someone on (it doesn’t do anything for me, personally). Ditto the guys who like the hardcore degradation — physical and emotional pain is felt by the same part of the brain. But the truth is, whether they use the word “paraphilia,” “fetish,” or “interest,” scientists are only just starting to catalog the vast, weird (moist) panoply of desire.

#3. Maintaining the Illusion Is Crucial to Them

Jacob Wackerhausen/iStock/Getty Images

The actual work itself — whether on the phone or in person — is actually the easiest part of this job. Marketing is where things get tough, because it involves maintaining a number of concurrent illusions. My clients can choose from six “characters,” and each of these girls has her own life. Each of my characters has a blog and a twitter, and I update both several times a week. So-and-so isn’t available to talk Monday through Friday until after 5 pm, because she is a high school biology teacher, and so-and-so isn’t available on Friday night because she is a 22-year-old party girl. Then I’ll go to different fetish message boards, Yahoo groups, and chat rooms and participate in those communities with a link back to my blog or profile.

JDate, Christian Mingle
I’m on JDate and Christian Mingle.

So while the nice thing about this job is being my own boss, the hard thing about it is also being my own employees. When you’re on social media, you’re acting at the same time as you’re advertising your services and performing market research to figure out which fetish stocks are more erect right now. It’s not an easy job, but it does have some serious perks.

I love football (go Steelers!) and so do a lot of my guys. This has turned into a pretty lucrative business opportunity over the years. I’ll talk with clients ahead of time and tailor a bunch of rules to their kink. Some guys like orgasm control, so every touchdown they’ll have something new to do without, uh, finishing. One toy I use is this device called the “humbler,” which stretches a client’s balls back for easy swatting. I’ve done paid in-person sessions during football games where I’d use that on the client every time there was a fumble or a turnover.

IdreamofJeanie
I’ve included this picture of a humbler because it’s the only one that doesn’t actively show balls.

If you’re wondering at what point in that process we actually have sex, well …

#2. Being a Dominatrix Doesn’t Involve Intercourse

alexsokolov/iStock/Getty Images

Many people think that being a dominatrix means being a high-end prostitute. I mean no offense to prostitutes, but that is not my job. I’ve never ever had sex with any of my clients, and I never ever would.

AndreyPopov/iStock/Getty Images
Which means I’m just like every other profession that’s completely misrepresented in porn.

That’s not what it’s about, and in fact that would actually ruin our whole dynamic, if they were to see me in a vulnerable, naked state. There’s a reason why you picture black leather or latex catsuits when you think of a dominatrix. Contact between in-person clients and myself would, at most, mean letting them be a human footstool or getting a well-placed slap across their little bitch faces. Once again, for many guys, it’s not about the sex act — it’s something much more complicated. A need they can’t get filled anywhere else.

Now, there are guys who do want to cross that line — some have trouble seeing the difference between me, the real person, and the character they’re paying to stick clothespins on their cock. That’s one reason I’ve actually phased out most of my in-person domming sessions in favor of phone sessions, because hey, I get to work in my PJs. I work for a phone sex company as well as owning my own business working through a platform, so my take-home pay is between 70 cents and $1.19 per minute for my time. For physical sessions, I usually charge between $100 or $200 per hour. It’s good money, and none of it requires showing off any more skin than the average nun.

Aleksandrs Tihonovs/iStock/Getty Images
And shit, if that’s what they want, I can do that too.

Think about that — all that time, and all that money, working through men’s sexual fantasies, and there’s never any actual nudity or actual sex. I’m just helping people act on the sexual fantasies in their mind, involving fetishes so specific and peculiar they’d never naturally come across another person who shares them. Which again brings us around to the real reason I stay so busy …

#1. For Many Guys, This Is the Therapy They’re Not Getting Elsewhere

Jacob Ammentorp Lund/iStock/Getty Images

You’d be surprised how much time I spend talking to my clients. Well, obviously, but I mean talking. You know the kind of talking the stereotypical girlfriends of the world always want. Emotional support is a much bigger aspect of the job than you’d expect. Not only do I have to get the guys off, I have to then assure them afterward that they aren’t weird.

Fuse/Fuse/Getty Images
Keep in mind sometimes they have just instructed me to tell them the exact opposite.

That’s why I work really hard on trying to understand the fetishes my clients have. For balloon popping, it’s the anticipation; for the shrinking guys, it’s the loss of power; for the yak guy … actually I haven’t figured that one out yet. Psychotherapists are starting to recognize the value sex work can play in therapy, though. Australia’s currently gripped in a debate over whether or not their national disability insurance should cover “sex surrogates” (if you’re interested, there’s a documentary called Scarlet Road you should watch).

I’ve had guys who were coming out to their family who came to me first for support, to get pumped up. I’ve had a guy stop in the middle of a call and start crying, because he missed his ex-wife and needed to talk about it. I’ve given relationship advice — hell I have even checked out guys’ online dating profiles so I could give them pointers from a woman’s perspective.

Jupiterimages/BananaStock/Getty Images
“Don’t mention produce or bovine animals until at least the fifth date.”

I actually had one client who was into extreme humiliation — he was black, and racial degradation was his particular turn-on. I got so hard on him during one session that he broke down and started crying. I wound up learning that he’d grown up in a very strict household, where men weren’t allowed to show emotion. Our session was the first time he’d ever broken down and cried about all of the horrible stuff he’d encountered as a kid. Getting that emotional release helped him deal with some demons. He never did another session with me, but he thanked me by email afterward, and now every week for the last few years he’s sent me a $100 check as thanks.

Robert Evans runs Cracked’s Personal Experience department and can be reached here. His friends run a farm and are trying to fight bandits. If you’d like to donate, he’ll love you forever.

Always on the go but can’t get enough of Cracked? We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article.

Related Reading: Still feeling sexy? We wrote an article with an actual real-life prostitute to make that feeling better, uh, informed. We also talked to a cop about his crazy stories, because Cracked listens to BOTH sides of the law. If you’d like to get pissed off, take a look inside the Troubled Teen industry. And if you’ve got a story to share with Cracked, you can tell it here.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_20963_5-truths-about-sexual-fetishes-a-dominatrixs-perspective_p2.html#ixzz2vkAdT7QL

You game?

Let’s start a new game.

We’ll begin with our closest extremities and provisions, then eventually incorporate toys as they become available.

In the spirit of exploring, experience and ecstasy (let’s refer to these as the 3Es) I move that the next opportunity you get, alone or with a partner:

Incorporate
This warm bbq’d pineapple slice with vanilla bean ice cream.

Do you turn yourself on? You should. Don’t shy away from more creative play just because you may be alone. It’s not all about getting directly down to the “Big O”. Discover new turn ons and hot spots through exploring yourself and partner.
Daft Punk has it right

Have fun!

Tips For Bringing Your Sex Toy & Your Real Boy Together

If you are only spending time with your B.O.B when your real live boyfriend isn’t around then you are both missing out! There are studies that show that not only do most women need sex toys during foreplay to get their happy ending but they also show that sex toys can help with a man’s orgasm as well. Here are some tips on how to bring your B.O.B. and your BF together.

1. How to bring up using a sex toy in bed with your boyfriend without making him feel inadequate:

Since sex toys appear everywhere from TV shows like House of Lies to your local CVS you can use that to your advantage. Bring it up like something you saw one TV. If you bring it up like something you saw and wanted to try out, its simply curiosity and not a replacement of him or judgment of his skills.

2. Hook and line now for the sinker:

Ok so you got him to say yes, now what? Your best bet is to suggest a sex shop to go to together. Make a sexy day trip of it. If he isn’t comfortable going to a sex shop then you could always go online and shop like that.

3. A little for me a little for you?

Sometimes guys can be uncomfortable with you using a sex toy on them. That is something you want to discuss prior to getting down to business that way in the throws of passion you don’t cross a line you didn’t know was there.  But remember if you are using condoms with your significant other than if kind of defeats the purpose if you then use sex toys on each other with no protection on the sex toy. I know it sounds weird but you can apply condoms to sex toys as well.

4. My vibrator feels more normal to me than my boyfriend:

There haven’t been any studies as of yet saying that you will become desensitized to the real thing by using your vibrator or sex toy too often. Women do become less sensitive the older they get but less sensitivity isn’t linked to poorer sex over time. Don’t you worry your little heart!

The Cure

     Did you know that 1/3 of the women in this world own a vibrator? I know it’s a crazy thought especially since when the vibrator was originally invented, its purpose was to cure women of “hysteria” a term that at the time, was used to describe what we now call sexual frustration. Doctors grew weary of manually relieving women of this ailment so they designed a machine that vibrated and was applied to the clitoris in or to induce orgasm.

     Ironically enough a woman’s pleasure was the furthest thing from the minds of the men who created the vibrator. Today women have replaced men’s laziness, the laziness that led to the invention in the first place, with the very same invention, the vibrator.

     Up until the 20^th century men the world over believed that women did not experience physical sexual pleasure and were simply content to be the proverbial “hole in the wall” that mean treated them like.  Women had only 2 purposes of which the second was to bear children and in the eyes of men didn’t experience the same pleasures. This as obviously since been proven very wrong but you can see why men operating under that impression left women suffering from this “hysteria.” I would go crazy too if the man I was having sex with never bothered to make sure I had an orgasm!

      In the late 19^th century doctors were making a killing in the “orgasm” game or what they used to call “paroxysm” because according to them at the time women didn’t experience sexual gratification the way men did.  At the time doctors didn’t exactly have the stellar reputation they do today. Their methods tended to kill more people than they helped, so when they developed the cure for hysteria women were more than happy to come back over and over for treatment.

      Unfortunately for the doctors their monopoly on the vibrator was short-lived.  Thanks to advertising in women’s magazines, the vibrator soon made its way into homes disguised as the “personal massager.” Even today they are still sometimes described as personal massagers but for the most part it is out in the open. I mean it had to be after the women’s movement and feminism took hold in our country.  Of course it took women to get things going!

      Today there are thousands of different vibrators. They are plug in, portable bullets, egg shaped, long and pink, battery powered, and water proof. 1/3 of women own a vibrator and to think we owe it all to some lazy doctors who thought we didn’t get off the way they did.

-SweetDee

Masturbation, squirting, orgasms etc – My Friday five

Masturbation, squirting, orgasms etc – My Friday five.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GANJA VIBES BLOG!

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of the day I registered ‘Ganja Vibes” on WordPress.

Terrible 2s?

It’s been an amazing ride thus far and we haven’t even begun.

I originally started this blog to test the name “Ganja Vibes” for the Cannabis themed adult novelty line I am developing and manufacturing, for your pleasure! Luckily, everyone has loved it and what a driving force it has been.

The long road of education + action while I navigate towards success in manufacturing has been amazing. I’ve met the most inspiring, intelligent, fun and colorful people through this first part of my journey. I’m so grateful to everyone for every experience. Some of my best friends today are the badasses I’ve met through travel and Canna culture. I LOVE MY PEOPLE!

Thank you for enjoying Ganja Vibes as a community. I always say I feel like a church right now. Selling a dream of breaking down barriers in people’s psyche to help create a more excepting environment.

Sex and weed have changed the world as we know it. Positively, in countless ways…

Would we have so much equality now? Would we have the musical history? Would we have the fashion? Would we have the masses that gather for the sake of peace and love? Would we have the unimaginable art?

There’s a bigger picture. Through touching everyone by helping them touch themselves and each other, I’m hoping, we will find so much more of all the wonder and intrigue in the world. Legalization, acceptance, more progress for more peace.

Chits about to get weird- er.

Thank you for staying tuned in!

ez

~HeatherB

Sex, Drugs & Rock N’ Roll

I know you have heard the catchphrase a million times. It was a phrase coined in the late 1970’s and has lived on and flourished even in today’s society. It’s screamed at parties, blasted on t-shirts and proclaimed on social media sites. So what about it? Sex, Drugs & Rock N Roll, have you ever tried it?

 Whenever I think of having sex while high and how great everyone thinks it is all I can think of is that scene from Half Baked…”Did you ever see Scent of a Woman? Did you ever see Scent of a Woman ON WEED?”  The first time I ever had sex while high was also the first time I was ever on top. I am the type of person who doesn’t like to do anything unless I know I am great at it so for me being on top was tantamount to being in charge of sex and in being in charge I am left wide open to criticism. This was all of course before I understood exactly how men looked at the entire sexual experience. It is pretty hard to be bad at sex LOL. Anyway I digress. For a lot of people it seems that there are many upsides to being high. There is the time distortion, the heightened senses, more communication, increased libido and increased stamina but the most important one, at least to me, was the not giving a fuck. People reported the tendency to not care more, to be less self-conscious.

 My first time having sex while high was in Las Vegas when I was 20. Mind you I was a virgin until I was 18, a bit of a late bloomer. I was out there with this guy, his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend. The first night we were there we all hung out in the hotel room and smoked. That night I killed two firsts with one bowl.  It felt good, I was way more in touch with my senses and body then I had ever been before. For someone like me who is constantly in their head and whose brain never really shuts off enough to connect with much else being high was a welcomed relief. I could actually feel things I had never been calm enough to feel before. Even more than all of that I didn’t think twice to get on top and ride it until I couldn’t feel my legs anymore. I didn’t care what he thought or what I thought, I just felt and went with it, the way sex is supposed to be enjoyed. It was awesome, less because of him and more due to the high. Not to take credit from him but I do need to clarify why it was great. This was just the first date in a long love affair I had with weed and sex.

 It’s not like being drunk. For most people myself included drunken sex is not that memorable. Not because of the sex but literally because a lot of the time you are so drunk you don’t remember it! You wake up in a daze, usually still a little drunk, naked and questioning what happened last night. It sucks I know but it’s usually the case. Even if you do remember it, the only that drunken sex and high sex, have in common is the loss of inhibition. Other than that the two could not be more different. When drunk, I find myself with dulled senses and in some cases if I am too intoxicated I get tired and lazy, whereas when I’m high I am enthusiastic because everything feels much more intense.

 It seems to be that the consensus is that having sex while high is the way to go. Most of the people I have talked to have thoroughly enjoyed it, even people who don’t smoke regularly or even ever at all, will tell you that having sex while high is extremely satisfying. Of course there is always the chance that you smoke yourself stupid and cant even function let alone get up the energy to take your clothes off but that usually only happens to the novice. For the most part people have responded with a resounding, YES! There are many reasons this could be the case but many of them come down to a simple science.

 According to www.cannabisculture.com marijuana and sex are a classic combination. “Marijuana and sex are gifts of nature. We enjoy them because biology and evolution have equipped us to do so. Just as our bodies contain pleasure systems which reward us for sex; our brains contain neurocellular circuitry, which can only be activated by substances with THC’s molecular structure.” I guess that says it all right there. We are wired to enjoy both and we have evolved to be this way. Being high and having sex both produce similar physiological responses so it stands to reason that the two together make a natural couple. What do you think?

Please welcome ~SweetDee as one of our Ganja Vibes content providers!

Love Headshot (uncensored)

MmmmMMmm

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