Be Careful Not to Criminalize Fantasies

The power of fantasy lies in the capacity to explore, without restriction, the inner recesses and outer limits of our psyche. For many, it is enough to have the imaginary encounter, and it need never be breathed to another soul. For others, the desire to explore the fantasy takes hold and pushes us to seek like-minded explorers with whom we can share our innermost desires. In our everyday lives we are limited by morality, legality and prevailing social mores, but we are free to dive into rich and florid — or even lurid — fantasies safely in our minds.

For those who have explicit fantasies that seem outside of the sexual “norm,” there can be a great deal of shame and guilt associated with the exploration of these themes, even in the privacy of one’s own thoughts. Some shun these desires as “deviant” and seek to banish them. For others, the drive to manifest the fantasy is irresistible. The longing for validation can motivate people to overcome strict upbringings, banish guilt and shame, and find camaraderie. It can push them to find or create space where those desires won’t be judged, but instead shared. It can be an incredible relief to know you’re not “the only one” with your particular “kink.”

With negotiation and consent, it can be healthy to discuss and explore explicit fantasies that seem outside of the sexual norm.

Many people find such a safe space in an online community where all the participants share fantasies of extreme sexual adventure. The communities should be all about consent: all parties consent to be a part of the conversation, and, if there is any thought that the secret desire should manifest, consent must be explicit, ongoing and mutual.

Fantasizing is healthy. Talking about fantasies with others can be healthy. Negotiating and fulfilling fantasies with consenting parties can be healthy. None of this should be illegal. But planning to fulfill your fantasy upon an unwitting stranger without his or her consent has no place in the practice of consensual BDSM. Objectifying other human beings – making them the fodder for your fantasies – is not necessarily a violation of consent. However, if the fantasy is to manifest, mutual consent, negotiation and personal safety are of paramount importance.

Manifesting an “edgy” fantasy is something that is negotiated and proceeds only if all parties involved actively consent to participate. In the BDSM realm, the gray area between fantasy and reality is full of negotiation: mutual expression of desire, consent, agreements to terms of safety, arrangements for after-care, etc. For instance, if I have a fantasy of being overpowered and ravaged, it absolutely does not mean that I have a desire to be abducted and sexually assaulted by a stranger. That fantasy might simply be a daydream I use to explore my own private pleasure. And yes, I may even choose to explore it with another consenting partner. However, transparency in motive and careful negotiation of how to bring the fantasy to fruition is absolutely necessary.

By seeking out like-minded people online and offline, you increase the opportunity to bring a secret desire to reality – blissful, risky, exhilarating and healthy reality.

Mollena Williams, an alternative sexuality educator and blogger, is a co-author of “Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities.”

Doug Fine // Too High To Fail

Too High To Fail

From the bestselling author of Farewell, My Subaru, Too High to Fail is the first in-depth look at the burgeoning legal cannabis industry and how the “new green economy” is shaping our country.

“Fine has written a well-researched book that uses the clever tactic of making the moral case for ending marijuana prohibition by burying it inside the economic case.” -Bill Maher in The New York Times

“Fine examines how the American people have borne the massive economic and social expenditures of the failed Drug War, which is ‘as unconscionably wrong for America as segregation and DDT.’ A captivating, solidly documented work rendered with wit and humor.”  -Kirkus (Starred Review)

“In his entertaining new book…(Fine) successfully illuminates an unusual world where cannabis growers sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to (friendly law enforcement) while crossing their fingers against the threat of federal raids.This informative book will give even hardened drug warriors pause.” -Publisher’s Weekly

“An important book.” -Michael Pollan

The nation’s economy needs a jump start, and there’s one cash crop that has the potential to help turn it around: cannabis (also known as marijuana and hemp). According to Time, the legal medicinal cannabis economy already generates $200 million annually in taxable proceeds from a mere five hundred thousand registered medical users in just sixteen states. Though thanks to Dick Nixon and America’s longest war — the War on Drugs — cannabis is still technically synonymous with heroin on the federal level even though it has won mainstream acceptance nationwide – 51% of Americans support full legalization (cannabis regulated for adults like alcohol), and 80% support medicinal cannabis legalization.

ABC News reports that underground cannabis’s $35.8 billion annual revenues already exceed the combined value of corn ($23.3 billion) and wheat ($7.5 billion). Imagine if the American economy benefited from those numbers, instead of going into criminal drug gang bank accounts.  Actually, you don’t have to imagine: it’s already happening in Canada and Europe, though as yet U.S. leaders won’t heed the call to end the forty-year, trillion-dollar Drug War you have been financing to almost no effect since 1971.

Considering the economic impact of cannabis prohibition—and its repeal—Too High to Fail isn’t a commune-dweller’s utopian rant, it’s an objectively (if humorously) reported account of how one plant can drastically change the shape of our country, culturally, politically, and economically.

In what can now be called his usual wild, hysterical fashion, and with typically impeccable investigative journalistic result, globe trotting, vegetable oil truck-driving rugged individualist goat herder Doug Fine extrapolates a model for the multi-billion-dollar legal, sustainable, cartel-crippling economy that can result when the failed Drug War is finally called off and cannabis is regulated like alcohol in North America.

Too High to Fail covers everything from a brief history of hemp to an insider’s perspective on a growing season in Mendocino County, California, where cannabis drives 80 percent of the economy (to the tune of $8 billion annually). Fine follows one plant from seed to patient in the first American county to fully legalize and regulate cannabis farming. He profiles an issue of critical importance to lawmakers, venture capitalists, climatologists and ordinary Americans—whether or not they inhale.

In classic Doug Fine fashion, Too High to Fail is a wild ride that includes swooping helicopters, college tuitions paid with cash, cannabis-friendly sheriffs (a decorated lawman who says, “I woke up and realized the sun still rises and there is still an America with legal cannabis”), and never-before-gained access to the world of the emerging legitimate, taxpaying “ganjaprenneur.”

What the critics are saying:

Fine examines how the American people have borne the massive economic and social expenditures of the failed Drug War, which is “as unconscionably wrong for America as segregation and DDT.” A captivating, solidly documented work rendered with wit and humor.  -Kirkus (Starred Review)

In his entertaining new book…(Fine) successfully illuminates an unusual world where cannabis growers sing “Happy Birthday” to (friendly law enforcement) while crossing their fingers against the threat of federal raids.This informative book will give even hardened drug warriors pause. -Publisher’s Weekly

“Fine has written a well-researched book that uses the clever tactic of making the moral case for ending marijuana prohibition by burying it inside the economic case.” -Bill Maher in The New York Times

“An important book.” -Michael Pollan

via Doug Fine // Too High To Fail.