5 Truths About Sexual Fetishes (A Dominatrix’s Perspective)

The stereotype goes that when it comes to sex, men are as simple-minded as dogs. (“Come on, we all know guys are only after one thing!”) Well, as someone with a few years’ experience as a dominatrix and phone sex operator, I’m here to tell you that could not possibly be more wrong. Male desire ranges from the merely kinky to the incredibly bizarre, and men are often so tortured by it that they’re not comfortable talking to anyone about it — not their closest friends, and certainly not their wives.

But they are comfortable talking to me, and here’s what I’ve found over the years …

#5. Certain Fantasies Are Way, Way More Common Than You’d Think

Hill Street Studios/Blend Images/Getty Images

Before becoming a professional phone sex operator and in-person ball crusher, I knew that men thought about sex a lot — but I didn’t realize just how deep and creative their fantasies could be. Inside every pervert beats the heart of a Tolstoy.

Photos.com
And sometimes they want to be beat with War and Peace.

Phone sex isn’t cheap, at least good phone sex isn’t, and in-person dom sessions can at the high end cost as much as a used car. So the vast majority of my clientele are upper-middle-class guys in their 40s to 60s — I have a slew of doctors, lawyers, professors, business executives, and even a minister or two, all of whom have elaborate fantasy worlds they seem to use as a kind of relief valve to alleviate some of the stress of their high-power positions. I’m just the Sherpa that guides them through their kink.

For instance, one thing that hit me about this job is the insane amount of men who fantasize about being feminized and humiliated, or forced to cross dress. Men cross-dress for a ton of different reasons, but the most surprising thing is just how incredibly common it is. In my daily life, I find myself looking at guys’ asses to check for panty lines. And I find them, constantly.

Siri Stafford/Digital Vision/Getty Images
Boyshorts, dude. Support and concealment.”

I’d also say about 75 percent of my callers have homosexual-type fantasies, a lot of whom hate that they have them. I had a caller the other day get freaked out that he was getting so turned on by the thought of getting down on his knees and sucking his girlfriend’s (fantasy) cock. He hung up, then called back to apologize. I had to tell him that fantasizing about a dick in your mouth doesn’t necessarily make you gay (“Honey, calm down. Most cultures consider the phallus a symbol of power. You may just getreally turned on about submitting to your girlfriend”).

If that makes it sound like what I do is more a form of therapy than a sexual outlet, well, it’s both. But we’ll come back to that in a moment …

#4. The Fetishes Often Have Shockingly Little to Do With Sex

MSPhotographic/iStock/Getty Images

When you think of phone sex, you probably imagine a woman’s breathy voice saying that she’s lying on her bed, wearing her favorite black lace lingerie, and that you sound so hot she just has to touch herself. After that, you get a soundtrack to your wank session composed of moaning and her telling you what a stud you are.

In real life, not so much. I’ve found most guys would rather watch free porn than spend $1.99 per minute for something so mundane (thanks Internet), so the guys who call me are looking for … something a little different.

ori-ori/iStock/Getty Images
“You’re a fuck dragon; your name is Falcor. I start scratching you behind your ear …”

Like the shrinking fetishists. That’s a really common phone fantasy — they like me to describe them shrinking down to about an inch in height, give or take, then picking them up, dropping them in the toilet, and flushing them away. Then there’s the vore guys (as in “carnivore”) — guys who fantasize about being eaten. I have one who likes me to describe how I will truss him up, put him in a big roasting pan (complete with chopped-up carrots, potatoes, celery, and onions), sprinkle him with salt and pepper (he always manages to sneeze for me when we get to that part), baste him in butter (“Ohhh it’s sooo slippery isn’t it, having that butter drip all over your body …”), and pop him in the oven (at 450 degrees).

Jack Puccio/iStock/Getty Images
Slow and low at 275 if it’s payday.

Sometimes I get to play a more traditional sex icon, like with the guy who likes me to be dressed as a Playboy bunny … then magically turn him into a carrot, use the carrot as a dildo, and eat him (the grossest part is he wants me to dip him in ranch dressing to eat … I hate ranch). And it’s my job to walk him through it, in extreme detail. “Close your eyes. I want you to feel the tips of your fingers getting longer, your legs merge together, an orange tinge comes to your skin, your hair gets leafy.”

jrwasserman/iStock/Getty Images
“Rinse me, but don’t peel … leave it a little dirty …”

Then there are the looners (as in “balloon fetishists,” not “lunatics”). They like to hear balloons being blown up and popped. That’s it — I have taken calls on my cellphone while walking into a store, buying a 100 pack of balloons, sitting in my car blowing them up, then popping them. All of them.

Photos.com
In real life I always use a condom.

And then there’s the yak guy. He just wants me to carry on our conversation in the language of the yak people. We talk about the weather, sports, news, music, and movies all in a made-up yak language. It’s hard to find somebody who’ll play along with something like that, without judging, or getting weirded out. That’s why I have a job.

Some of these fetishes I understand, some I don’t — I understand how the endorphin rush of pain might turn someone on (it doesn’t do anything for me, personally). Ditto the guys who like the hardcore degradation — physical and emotional pain is felt by the same part of the brain. But the truth is, whether they use the word “paraphilia,” “fetish,” or “interest,” scientists are only just starting to catalog the vast, weird (moist) panoply of desire.

#3. Maintaining the Illusion Is Crucial to Them

Jacob Wackerhausen/iStock/Getty Images

The actual work itself — whether on the phone or in person — is actually the easiest part of this job. Marketing is where things get tough, because it involves maintaining a number of concurrent illusions. My clients can choose from six “characters,” and each of these girls has her own life. Each of my characters has a blog and a twitter, and I update both several times a week. So-and-so isn’t available to talk Monday through Friday until after 5 pm, because she is a high school biology teacher, and so-and-so isn’t available on Friday night because she is a 22-year-old party girl. Then I’ll go to different fetish message boards, Yahoo groups, and chat rooms and participate in those communities with a link back to my blog or profile.

JDate, Christian Mingle
I’m on JDate and Christian Mingle.

So while the nice thing about this job is being my own boss, the hard thing about it is also being my own employees. When you’re on social media, you’re acting at the same time as you’re advertising your services and performing market research to figure out which fetish stocks are more erect right now. It’s not an easy job, but it does have some serious perks.

I love football (go Steelers!) and so do a lot of my guys. This has turned into a pretty lucrative business opportunity over the years. I’ll talk with clients ahead of time and tailor a bunch of rules to their kink. Some guys like orgasm control, so every touchdown they’ll have something new to do without, uh, finishing. One toy I use is this device called the “humbler,” which stretches a client’s balls back for easy swatting. I’ve done paid in-person sessions during football games where I’d use that on the client every time there was a fumble or a turnover.

IdreamofJeanie
I’ve included this picture of a humbler because it’s the only one that doesn’t actively show balls.

If you’re wondering at what point in that process we actually have sex, well …

#2. Being a Dominatrix Doesn’t Involve Intercourse

alexsokolov/iStock/Getty Images

Many people think that being a dominatrix means being a high-end prostitute. I mean no offense to prostitutes, but that is not my job. I’ve never ever had sex with any of my clients, and I never ever would.

AndreyPopov/iStock/Getty Images
Which means I’m just like every other profession that’s completely misrepresented in porn.

That’s not what it’s about, and in fact that would actually ruin our whole dynamic, if they were to see me in a vulnerable, naked state. There’s a reason why you picture black leather or latex catsuits when you think of a dominatrix. Contact between in-person clients and myself would, at most, mean letting them be a human footstool or getting a well-placed slap across their little bitch faces. Once again, for many guys, it’s not about the sex act — it’s something much more complicated. A need they can’t get filled anywhere else.

Now, there are guys who do want to cross that line — some have trouble seeing the difference between me, the real person, and the character they’re paying to stick clothespins on their cock. That’s one reason I’ve actually phased out most of my in-person domming sessions in favor of phone sessions, because hey, I get to work in my PJs. I work for a phone sex company as well as owning my own business working through a platform, so my take-home pay is between 70 cents and $1.19 per minute for my time. For physical sessions, I usually charge between $100 or $200 per hour. It’s good money, and none of it requires showing off any more skin than the average nun.

Aleksandrs Tihonovs/iStock/Getty Images
And shit, if that’s what they want, I can do that too.

Think about that — all that time, and all that money, working through men’s sexual fantasies, and there’s never any actual nudity or actual sex. I’m just helping people act on the sexual fantasies in their mind, involving fetishes so specific and peculiar they’d never naturally come across another person who shares them. Which again brings us around to the real reason I stay so busy …

#1. For Many Guys, This Is the Therapy They’re Not Getting Elsewhere

Jacob Ammentorp Lund/iStock/Getty Images

You’d be surprised how much time I spend talking to my clients. Well, obviously, but I mean talking. You know the kind of talking the stereotypical girlfriends of the world always want. Emotional support is a much bigger aspect of the job than you’d expect. Not only do I have to get the guys off, I have to then assure them afterward that they aren’t weird.

Fuse/Fuse/Getty Images
Keep in mind sometimes they have just instructed me to tell them the exact opposite.

That’s why I work really hard on trying to understand the fetishes my clients have. For balloon popping, it’s the anticipation; for the shrinking guys, it’s the loss of power; for the yak guy … actually I haven’t figured that one out yet. Psychotherapists are starting to recognize the value sex work can play in therapy, though. Australia’s currently gripped in a debate over whether or not their national disability insurance should cover “sex surrogates” (if you’re interested, there’s a documentary called Scarlet Road you should watch).

I’ve had guys who were coming out to their family who came to me first for support, to get pumped up. I’ve had a guy stop in the middle of a call and start crying, because he missed his ex-wife and needed to talk about it. I’ve given relationship advice — hell I have even checked out guys’ online dating profiles so I could give them pointers from a woman’s perspective.

Jupiterimages/BananaStock/Getty Images
“Don’t mention produce or bovine animals until at least the fifth date.”

I actually had one client who was into extreme humiliation — he was black, and racial degradation was his particular turn-on. I got so hard on him during one session that he broke down and started crying. I wound up learning that he’d grown up in a very strict household, where men weren’t allowed to show emotion. Our session was the first time he’d ever broken down and cried about all of the horrible stuff he’d encountered as a kid. Getting that emotional release helped him deal with some demons. He never did another session with me, but he thanked me by email afterward, and now every week for the last few years he’s sent me a $100 check as thanks.

Robert Evans runs Cracked’s Personal Experience department and can be reached here. His friends run a farm and are trying to fight bandits. If you’d like to donate, he’ll love you forever.

Always on the go but can’t get enough of Cracked? We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article.

Related Reading: Still feeling sexy? We wrote an article with an actual real-life prostitute to make that feeling better, uh, informed. We also talked to a cop about his crazy stories, because Cracked listens to BOTH sides of the law. If you’d like to get pissed off, take a look inside the Troubled Teen industry. And if you’ve got a story to share with Cracked, you can tell it here.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_20963_5-truths-about-sexual-fetishes-a-dominatrixs-perspective_p2.html#ixzz2vkAdT7QL

1 in 3 Women own a Vibrator

That’s more than own a washing machine.
A vibrator is now considered an essential item for many modern women. Now there truly something – that vibrates – for everybody.
~GANJA VIBES

The great porn experiment…

http://youtu.be/wSF82AwSDiU

Lunch time Black & Whites

tumblr_m969n1jjJX1r7okhqo1_500

tumblr_me4pcdXLRB1qbgjbio1_500

Sexes

tumblr_mciuaiVaHg1rjdka8o1_500

tumblr_mcb8ppmD0q1qf1msfo1_500

 

tumblr_mdk32uPxOD1qm4xzko1_500

Consuming interactions breed happiness

All I want to do is get high and touch you while you touch me to. 

It’s breast Cancer awareness month

Future Sex

 

 

 

Female Sex

 

 

LGBT History Month

October Is LGBT History Month!

Love, Understanding, Peace and Beautiful Life

Ybridex_Carnaval_Sitges_2012_Creation

Icon Search

Search the entire LGBT History Month database of 186 Icons —from 2006 to 2011—by Icon name or by more than 200 tags including Academy Award, Athlete, African-American,  Author, Composer,  Entrepreneur, Germany, Lesbian, Politics, Transgender and Washington, D.C.

Icon Search

How It Works

LGBT History Month celebrates the achievements of 31 lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender Icons. Each day in October, a new LGBT Icon is featured with a video, bio, bibliography, downloadable images and other resources.

http://www.youtube.com/user/equalityforum

soure: http://lgbthistorymonth.com/

What’s in female ejaculate?

The Straight Dope: What’s in female ejaculate?.

 

We Love Female Orgasm!

Stag Party

The GOP’s woman problem is that it has a serious problem with women.
By Frank Rich


(Photo: Harold M. Lambert/Getty Images)

At the time, back in January in New Hampshire, it didn’t seem like that big a deal, certainly nothing to rival previous debate flash points like “9-9-9” and “Oops!” But in retrospect it may have been one of the more fateful twists of the Republican presidential campaign. The exchange was prompted by George Stephanopoulos, who seemingly out of nowhere asked Mitt Romney if he shared Rick Santorum’s view that “states have the right to ban contraception.” Romney stiffened, as he is wont to do, and took the tone of a men’s club factotum tut-tutting a member for violating the dress code. “George, this is an unusual topic that you’re raising,” he said. “I know of no reason to talk about contraception in this regard.” The partisan audience would soon jeer the moderator for his effrontery.

Afterward, Romney’s spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom accused Stephanopoulos of asking “the oddest question in a debate this year” and of having “a strange obsession with contraception.” It was actually Santorum who had the strange obsession. He had first turned the subject into a cause in October by talking about “the dangers of contraception in this country.” Birth control is “not okay,” he said then. “It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

As we know now, Santorum, flaky though he may sound, is not some outlier in his party or in its presidential field. He was an advance man for a rancorous national brawl about to ambush an unsuspecting America that thought women’s access to birth control had been resolved by the ­Supreme Court almost a half century ago.

The hostilities would break out just weeks after the New Hampshire debate, with the back-to-back controversies of the White House health-care rule on contraceptives and the Komen Foundation’s dumping of Planned Parenthood. Though those two conflicts ended with speedy cease-fires, an emboldened GOP kept fighting. It had women’s sex lives on the brain and would not stop rolling out jaw-dropping sideshows: an all-male panel at a hearing on birth control in the House. A fat-cat Santorum bankroller joking that “gals” could stay out of trouble by putting Bayer aspirin “between their knees.” A Virginia governor endorsing a state bill requiring that an ultrasound “wand” be inserted into the vagina of any woman seeking an abortion.

It’s not news that the GOP is the anti-abortion party, that it panders to the religious right, and that it’s particularly dependent on white men with less education and less income—a displaced demographic that has been as threatened by the rise of the empowered modern woman as it has been by the cosmopolitan multiracial male elites symbolized by Barack Obama. That aggrieved class is, indeed, Santorum’s constituency. But, as Stephanopoulos was trying to get at when he challenged Romney, this new rush of anti-woman activity on the right isn’t coming exclusively from the Santorum crowd. It’s a phenomenon extending across the GOP. On March 1, every Republican in the Senate except the about-to-flee Olympia Snowe—that would be 45 in total—voted for the so-called Blunt Amendment, which would allow any employer with any undefined “moral” objection to veto any provision in health-care coverage, from birth control to mammograms to diabetes screening for women (or, for that matter, men) judged immorally overweight.

After the Blunt Amendment lost (albeit by only three votes), public attention to the strange 2012 Republican fixation on women might have dissipated had it not been for Rush Limbaugh. His verbal assault on a female Georgetown University law student transformed what half-attentive onlookers might have tracked as a hodgepodge of discrete and possibly fleeting primary-season skirmishes into a big-boned narrative—a full-fledged Republican war on women. And in part because Limbaugh pumped up his hysteria for three straight days, he gave that war a unifying theme: pure unadulterated misogyny.

The GOP Establishment didn’t know what to do about Rush. Conservatives had tried to make the case that the only issue at stake in the contraception debate was religious liberty—Obama’s health-care czars forcing religiously affiliated institutions (or more specifically Catholic institutions) to pay for birth-control coverage (which 98 percent of sexually active American Catholic women use at some point, according to the Gutt­macher Institute). But the Obama administration had walked back that rule in a compromise acceptable to mainstream Catholics, including the Catholic Health Association. So what was Rush yelling about now except his own fantasies (videos included) about this young woman’s sex life?

The right’s immediate solution was simple: The best defense of Rush was a good offense. He was guilty mainly of a poor choice of words (as he himself said in his “apology”) and so was really no different from Bill Maher, Ed Schultz, and Keith Olbermann, among other liberal hypocrites who had used “slut,” “whore,” or worse to slime Republican women. It was an entirely valid point—and also a convenient distraction from Virginia’s vaginal wands, Congressman Darrell Issa’s all-male panel, ­Foster Friess’s aspirin-between-the-knees, and that ugly Blunt business in the Senate.

At the very top of the Washington GOP Establishment, however, there was a dawning recognition that a grave danger had arisen—not to women, but to their own brand. A month of noisy Republican intrusion into women’s health and sex organs, amplified by the megaphone of Limbaugh’s aria, was a potentially apocalyptic combination for an election year. No one expressed this fear more nakedly than Peggy Noonan, speaking, again with Stephanopoulos, on ABC’s This Week. After duly calling out Rush for being “crude, rude, even piggish,” she added: “But what he said was also destructive. It confused the issue. It played into this trope that the Republicans have a war on women. No, they don’t, but he made it look that way.”

Note that she found Limbaugh “destructive” not because he was harming women but because he was harming her party. But the problem wasn’t that Limbaugh confused the issue. His real transgression was that he had given away the GOP game, crystallizing an issue that had been in full view for weeks. That’s why his behavior resonated with and angered so many Americans who otherwise might have tuned out his rant as just another sloppy helping of his aging shtick. It’s precisely because there is a Republican war on women that he hit a nerve. And surely no one knows that better than Noonan, a foot soldier in some of the war’s early battles well before Rush became a phenomenon. In her 1990 memoir about her service in the Reagan administration, What I Saw at the Revolution, she recalls likening Americans who favored legal abortions to Germans who favored killing Jews—a construct Limbaugh wouldn’t seize on and popularize (“feminazis”) until Reagan was leaving office and Anita Hill and Hillary Clinton emerged on the national stage.

GOP apologists like Noonan are hoping now that Limbaugh and Limbaugh alone will remain the issue—a useful big fat idiot whom Republicans can scapegoat for all the right’s misogynistic sins and use as a club to smack down piggish liberal media stars. The hope is that he will change the subject of the conversation altogether, from a Republican war on women to, as Noonan now frames it, the bipartisan “coarsening of discourse in public life.” That’s a side issue, if not a red herring. Coarse and destructive as sexist invective is—whether deployed by Limbaugh or liberals—it is nonetheless policies and laws that inflict the most insidious and serious casualties in the war on women. It’s Republicans in power, not radio talk-show hosts or comedians or cable-news anchors, who try and too often succeed at enacting punitive measures aimed at more than half the population. The war on women is rightly named because those who are waging it do real harm to real women with their actions, not words.

If that war were all about Rush Limbaugh—or all about abortion—it would be easy to understand and perhaps easy to file away as the same old same old. But a sweeping edict with full GOP support like the Blunt Amendment, which has nothing to do with abortion, indicates how much broader the animus is. The Republican Party in its pathological reaction to the rise of Obama has now moved so far to the right that it seems determined to turn back the clock to that supposedly halcyon time when Ralph Kramden was king of his domestic castle. Back then, as Santorum would have it, women just didn’t do things “counter to how things are supposed to be.”

For much of its history, misogyny was not the style of the party of Lincoln. For most of the twentieth century, the GOP was ahead of the curve in bestowing women’s rights. When the Nineteenth Amendment granting suffrage was ratified in 1920, roughly three-quarters of the 36 state legislatures that did so were controlled by Republicans. In 1940, the GOP mandated that women be equally represented in its national and executive committees—a standard not imposed by the Democrats until more than three decades later.

Barry Goldwater’s wife Peggy, inspired by a Margaret Sanger lecture in Phoenix in 1937, would help build one of the nation’s largest Planned Parenthood affiliates. Her husband favored abortion rights. “I think the average woman feels, ‘My God, that’s my business,’ and that’s the way we should keep it,” he said late in his career. Prescott Bush, the Connecticut senator who sired a presidential dynasty, was another Sanger enthusiast and treasurer for the first national Planned Parenthood fund-raising campaign. His son George, when a congressman in the sixties, was an ardent birth-control advocate and the principal Republican author of the trailblazing Family Planning Act of 1970. Capitol Hill colleagues jokingly nicknamed him “Rubbers.”

One loyal Republican woman whose political engagement began during this relatively enlightened time was Tanya Melich, the daughter of a state senator in ultraconservative Utah. Melich, who had passed out leaflets for Wendell Willkie as a child in the forties, had grown up to be a stalwart New York Republican and a 1992 Bush convention delegate. She was no fan of Democrats, who “stood for big government that obstructed individual freedom.”

Melich wrote those words in a memoir published in 1996. The book’s title was The Republican War Against Women. When it came out, it caused a small stir, but these days her eyewitness account of her party’s transformation seems more pertinent and prescient than ever. It gives the lie to the notion that a Republican war on women is some Democratic trope, trumped up in recent weeks for political use in 2012. Her history also reminds us that the hostility toward modern women resurfacing in the GOP today was baked into the party before the religious right gained its power and before recriminalizing abortion became a volatile cause.

The GOP started backing away from its traditional beneficence on women’s issues at the tail end of the Nixon presidency. Nixon had a progressive GOP take for his time: He supported the Equal Rights Amendment, appointed an impressive number of talented women, and in 1972 signed the Equal Employment Opportunity Act to strengthen the policing of workplace discrimination. But, in a telling shift a few months earlier, he also vetoed a bipartisan bill enabling child care for the millions of mothers then rapidly joining the workforce. As Melich observes, it would have been consistent with GOP frugality if Nixon had rejected the bill solely because of its cost. But his veto was accompanied by a jarring statement that child care would threaten American families by encouraging women to work. The inspiration for this unexpected reactionary broadside came not from fundamentalist clergy but from cynical, secular political strategists eager to exploit the growing backlash against the sixties feminist movement, much as the “southern strategy” was exploiting the backlash against the sixties civil-rights movement.

This tactic preceded Roe v. Wade, which was decided in 1973. The new GOP was hostile to female liberation, period, not just female sexual freedom. The pitch was articulated by Newt Gingrich in his first successful congressional race in Georgia in 1978. His opponent, a state senator named Virginia Shapard, crusaded for the Equal Rights Amendment and bankrolled her own campaign. That uppity profile gave the Gingrich forces an advertising message: “Newt will take his family to Washington and keep them together; Virginia will go to Washington and leave her husband and children in the care of a nanny.” Newt won by nine percentage points. One of his campaign officials tied his victory to the strategy of “appealing to the prejudice against working women, against their not being home.”

This hostility to independent women was codified in the national Republican platform throughout the seventies. A 1972 plank supporting federal assistance for day-care services was softened in 1976, then dropped entirely at the Reagan convention of 1980. A 1972 stipulation that “every woman should have the freedom to choose whatever career she wishes—and an equal chance to pursue it” also vanished. The 1980 platform instead took a patriarchal stance, applauding mothers and homemakers for “maintaining the values of this country.”

By then the anti-choice extremists of the religious right had merged with the hard right to produce the GOP convention from hell in 1992 in Houston. As if Pat Buchanan’s legendary address calling for an all-out culture war were not crazed enough, the vice-president’s wife, Marilyn Quayle, declared that “most women do not wish to be liberated from their essential natures as women.” Women, in fact, had now fallen to a status lower than the fetus as far as this recalibrated Republican Party was concerned. “I can’t imagine a crime more egregiously awful than forcible rape,” said Congressman Henry Hyde at a convention platform hearing, before going on to add: “There is honor in having to carry to term, not exterminating the child. From a great tragedy, goodness can come.”

The indignities of the 1992 Republican convention and campaign were all countenanced by Melich’s own candidate, the former “Rubbers,” who had long since repudiated his past good works on family planning. In disgust, she and many other Republican women voted for Bill Clinton. In what would later be dubbed the “Year of the Woman,” four new women were elected to the Senate in 1992, all Democrats. The gender gap, which had made its first appearance in the Reagan ascendancy of 1980, kept growing during the Clinton presidency. Mary Matalin blamed the problem, much as Noonan does now, on faulty communications that confused the issue for women voters. Conservatives needn’t worry about “changing their message,” Matalin condescendingly advised in 1996, but should instead focus on “conveying it in ways intelligible to women.”

Such tactics didn’t close the gender gap, which would remain intact until the Democratic shellacking of 2010, when women split between the parties. Unsurprisingly, the gap has returned with a vengeance this year. A post-Blunt-Limbaugh March Wall Street Journal–NBC News poll found that in an Obama-Romney matchup, Romney was winning among men by six points and losing among women by eighteen points, giving Obama an overall advantage of six points. Male Republican political hands aren’t losing sleep about it, for they assume that the gals will quickly forget these silly little tussles over contraception. “Nobody thinks it will matter in a couple of months,” said Vin Weber, the former Republican congressman and current Romney backer. “If Rick Santorum is not the nominee,” said Whit Ayres, the GOP pollster, “all the attention to these issues is going to evaporate.” According to Virginia governor Bob ­McDonnell, the requiring of ultrasound procedures in states like his has nothing to do with all the tumult. “This constant focus on social issues is largely coming from the Democrats,” he said on Meet the Press.

Whatever happens in November, there will be no Republican retreat in this war. Santorum is unlikely to be the GOP nominee, if he isn’t toast already, but his fade-out would no more change the state of play than if Limbaugh suddenly announced his retirement. What matters, and will continue to matter, is the damage inflicted by politicians and officials on women’s daily lives. Even a renewal of the once-bipartisan 1994 Violence Against Women Act is up for grabs in the current Congress.

The notion that Romney will somehow be more “moderate” on women’s issues than his opponents or party is not credible. The fact that he and his wife long ago supported Planned Parenthood in Massachusetts is no more a predictor of his agenda in the White House than the Bush family’s links to Planned Parenthood were of either Bush presidency. On policy, Romney and Santorum are on exactly the same page. Both endorsed the Blunt Amendment and the short-lived Komen defunding of Planned Parenthood. (Romney has called for the termination of all federal funding of Planned Parenthood.) Both men also want to shut down Title X—the main federal family-planning program supported by Nixon and then-Congressman Bush at its creation in 1970. Title X prevents abortions and unintended pregnancies by the hundreds of thousands per year, according to federal research. In addition to birth control, it also pays for preventive health care that includes cervical- and breast-cancer screening, testing for sexually transmitted diseases like HIV, and even some abstinence counseling for teenagers. It would be overstating the case to say that the men running for president and running Congress in the GOP are opposed to all these services; the evidence suggests that such female concerns aren’t on their radar screen.

Republicans in state government are not waiting for a Romney presidency to gut Title X and act on the rest of their wish list. Rick Perry has already rejected Title X money for Texas, assuring that countless poor women in his domain will be denied access to all reproductive health care, from birth-control pills to Pap smears. In other states from Pennsylvania to Arizona, Virginia-style laws mandating government medical procedures on pregnant women have made serious advances. So have “personhood” laws, which hold the promise to make birth control and family planning as endangered as abortion rights. The moment the state declares a fertilized egg a “person” is the moment when the morning-after pill and IUDs, not to mention in vitro fertilization, become, by definition, illegal.

To believe that Romney will somehow depart from his party’s misogyny in the White House, you have to believe that everything he has said about these issues during the primary campaign is a lie. You have to believe that the “real” Romney is the one who endorsed Roe v. Wade when he was running against Ted Kennedy in 1994, and that all the Etch A Sketch–ing since then has been a transitory attempt to pander to his party’s base. But a look at Romney’s personal history suggests that the real Romney is the one before us now—the sincere exponent of a deeply held faith whose entire top hierarchy is male and that still denies women the leadership roles that are bestowed on every Mormon male beginning at age 12. (At least blacks were finally granted full equality in the Church of Latter Day Saints in 1978.) The widely reported examples of Romney’s own personal behavior in his church roles as ward bishop and stake president in the Boston area suggest that he had not only never questioned this ethos but completely internalized it. He seems impervious to vulnerable women in crisis and need beyond his own family.

In one of these incidents, he turned his back on a 23-year-old single mother, Peggie Hayes, who had been a Romney family friend and teenage babysitter, because she refused to obey his and the church’s preference that she give up a second, out-of-wedlock child for adoption. Even when Hayes’s baby underwent frightening head surgery nine months after birth, Mitt spurned her call to come to the hospital to confer a blessing on her child. A similar Romney episode originally surfaced in an anonymous first-person account published by a Mormon feminist journal, Exponent II, in 1990. A mother of four learned that she had a blood clot in her pelvis during a later, unexpected pregnancy, putting her own health and that of the fetus at risk. Romney visited the hospital where she “lay helpless, hurt, and frightened,” as she described it, only to tell her that “as your bishop, my concern is with the child.” The woman, who has recently identified herself as Carrel Hilton Sheldon, was enraged that he cared more about “the eight-week possibility” in her uterus than he did about her—and that he offered “judgment, criticism, prejudicial advice, and rejection” at a time when she needed support from spiritual leaders and friends. In an interview with Ronald Scott, the author of a Romney biography published last year, Sheldon tried to be generous when looking back. “Mitt has many, many winning qualities,” she said, “but at the time he was blind to me as a human being.”

All of which is to affirm that George Stephanopoulos was addressing his question to the right candidate when he brought up the banning of contraception at that January debate. Santorum has always been completely candid about his view of women and their status; Romney was the one who had to be smoked out. Romney didn’t take the bait, but even so, his record is clear, and, unlike the angry Santorum, he has the smooth style of a fifties retro patriarch to camouflage the reactionary content. In this sense, his war on women would differ from Rick’s—and Rush’s—only in the way prized by GOP spin artists like Noonan and Matalin. He would never be so politically foolhardy as to spell out on-camera just how broad and nasty its goals really are.

Read the original article in New York Mag:

Stag Party.

Female G Spot

The PMS/Pot Proclamation

By “Dr Kate” – Monday, August 31 1998

Eat some chocolate, run a hot bath and bask in the remedy that is straight from mother earth! Feel better, Ladies!

Sourced from Cannabis Culture Mag
Hundreds of testimonials show that marijuana can alleviate PMS!
In the 1800’s cannabis was commonly used by women to ease menstrual cramps and labour pains. Yet by 1920, women were influenced into thinking that the symptoms they had around their period were due to innate physical problems, and their reproductive organs were often removed as a cure. Nowadays, women are often told that their very real physical symptoms are psychological, and handed a script for a prescription for antidepressants or tranquilizers.
These harsh drugs take weeks to build up in the system enough to produce a noticeable effect. It seems like overkill to take something that can throw many of the body’s systems out of balance and cut down sex-drive, every day of the month, to try to cut symptoms that typically last 3-5 days, before and during a woman’s period.

Often, all that’s needed to relax the tense, stimulate the sluggish, and soothe the crampy, is a couple of puffs of RCMP ? Royal Canadian Marijuana Products.

We can now proclaim to the world that for many women PMS is hugely alleviated by cannabis resin. The proof lies in my collection of testimonial letters submitted by women from around the globe via the internet and regular post.

These personal experiences prove that women should be insisting on access to this good herb if they are victims of this disorder, which can be disabling and even marriage-threatening in extreme cases.

Almost 200 letters, stories, and submissions are powerfully convincing, many poignant to the point of inspiring tears in the eye of the reader, some too private to ever print. What follows are just a few typical examples:

Hi Dr Kate. I have used marijuana cigarettes for my premenstrual rages and grumpiness for the last 15 years. Works like a charm. My family is glad. What else would you like to know?

A husband writes:

My wife has used marijuana to control nausea and lessen cramps. It seems to work very well, even in low doses.

A Canadian lady writes:

About your medical marijuana and menstrual discomforts, etc. I have used it for many years for pre-menstrual cramps and bitchiness? PMS! It helps me to mellow out and to tolerate the intense lower pains that I get once a month for about 3 days.

From a man in the US:

My live-in girlfriend suffered from severe cramps and depression for 2 to 3 days a month during her period. She did not smoke pot until I suggested it might help out with this, since watching her suffer was agonizing for me too.

The results were even better than expected, and she continues to smoke pot for this condition. She did do some rare occasional recreational smoking, but every cycle the pot would make her life considerably easier.

She has since moved to a state where anti-pot laws are severe, so she often does without for this reason.

And finally, from a teenager:

Dear Dr Kate, I have smoked up since I was 14. Now I’m 17. My mom found out and so I had to stop, but when it’s that time of the month, I sneak over to my friend’s house if she has some, because it really helps the cramps and headache.

Herbal remedy experts

In my studies of herbal remedies and natural healing methods I have found only a small handful of herbal expert writers courageous and honest enough to include cannabis in their repertoires.

One of these is the late,great Dr John R Christopher, author of School of Natural Healing, the greatest herbal and natural healing instructive text. He and other early herbalists call cannabis by the name Indian Hemp, but there is no doubt they are referring to the medicinal herb.

Dr Christopher lists cannabis in 11 different categories of usefulness, including Hypnotic, Antispasmodic, Analgesic, and Emmenagogue, which is described as follows:

Herbs that are female correctives to the reproductive organs, which stimulate and promote a normal menstrual function, flow and discharge.

Susun Weed is the only prominent herbalist of our time who is brave enough to speak up in defense of the much-slandered herb. She also explains that cannabis as an important emmenagogue, and describes the benefit of a couple of puffs of nice, warm bronchial-dilating smoke as “good exercise for the lungs.”

I quote her “Wise Woman” philosophies often, because they are full of common-sense insights and down-to-earth wisdom. She has knowledge only experience can bring. Susun is revered among midwives and natural women of all ages who want to take responsibility for their own bodies.

Dr Kate can be reached by email at: galbraithe@upanet.uleth.ca.

Home Remedies and Natural Cures for Menstrual Cramps Treatment
From HomeRemedies.com

Menstrual Cramps Home Remedy Using Heating Pads
Many women have found that a heating pad placed on your lower back or abdomen helps to ease the pain and discomfort of menstrual cramps. If you don’t have a heating pad, one can be easily made by filling a sock with flaxseeds or uncooked rice and heating it in the microwave for 1 to 2 minutes.

Menstrual Cramps Home Remedy Using Chamomile
Chamomile is widely used to treat gynecologic complaints such as menstrual cramps and discomfort related to premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Add 2 teaspoons of dried Chamomile flowers to a cup of boiling water and let it steep for at least 5 minutes. If you are using a package of Chamomile tea bags, then follow the directions as stated on the box. Honey or sugar can be added for taste. A good preventive measure is to start drinking Chamomile tea a couple of days before you are expecting your period, and then drink at least 2 cups everyday during your period. It also feels great if you use your hot mug as a hot compress for your lower abdomen while you are drinking it.

Vitamins and Minerals for Treating Menstrual Cramps
Foods and supplements that are rich in B-vitamins, calcium, magnesium, and zinc have been found to reduce the pain, bloating and other symptoms of menstrual cramps.

In particular, calcium is known to help maintain muscle tone as well as prevent cramps and pain. For most women, a daily intake of 800 mg of calcium is recommended, which can be found in 3 cups of milk. Increasing magnesium is also recommended, since it helps the body absorb calcium. Good sources of magnesium include beans, whole wheat, tofu, salmon, shrimp, nuts, and vegetables.

Regular Exercise as a Natural Cure for Menstrual Cramps
Exercise is considered to be a natural way to reduce muscle tension and elevate one’s mood. Therefore, maintaining a regular exercise program, including something as simple as walking for 20 minutes each day, can help reduce the severity of menstrual cramps.

Ginger Root Tea to Relieve Menstrual Cramps
Ginger root has been found to help relieve the pain associated with menstrual cramps. Therefore, a simple soothing herbal tea can made from Ginger as follows:
Slice a handful of ginger root
Let the pieces simmer in boiling water for 15 minutes
Using a strainer, pour the tea into a drinking cup or mug
Add some honey as a natural sweetener if desired