Mary Jane Vibrator™ available this holiday season!

And one day I’m going to grow up and make a toy that all of my ganja loving sisters and brothers will love. It will bring pleasure and relaxation. It will bring Cannabis into the homes of those who don’t smoke anymore yet miss having Mary Jane being a part of their lives. It will slowly make cannabis more mainstream, even more mainstream then sex. Partner play is about to become so much more fun. Your boyfriend will be so excited to bring home the first toy he’s ever truly related with in more ways than one. 
The perfect gift for your ganja lover! Coming this holiday season. 

#ganjavibes #maryjanevibrator #gethighgetoff #sextoysforcannabisenthusiasts #playtime #fun #adultnovelty #sextoys #massage #heath #wellness 

 

Weed & Sex

According to These Adult Film Stars, Marijuana Makes Sex Way Better

http://www.playboy.com/videos/adult-film-stars-marijuana-sex

Do you actually make sex toys?

 

Crocodile Creep

The launch of ‘Ganja Vibes’ brand adult novelty is right around the corner.

I get asked from time to time IF I actually make sex toys. The answer is, “YES, yes I do. Come over for a tupperware party and I’ll show you what is in store after you sign a non disclosure agreement”.

What I have conceived is a totally new concept, a niche in the adult novelty market.

You won’t find pictures of the upcoming designs. Not even after I was granted my patent(s) was I inclined to give these designs away. Which is what happens when you release your art and it’s not ready for sale through your manufacturing resources.

Manufacturing every day items, all the things you see and use without thinking twice….like even a straw for instance, these items go through many stages. Conception, research & development, design, prototyping, testing, redesigning, sourcing, art direction, sourcing certifiable manufacturing resources abroad, language barriers, importing/exporting and the list goes on. This all takes time.

I started Ganja Vibes because I absolutely love Cannabis. I love the lifestyle, I love the people, I love the opportunities. I love the smell, taste and effects of well grown marijuana plants. I love the ultimate results of very little to no negative impact, down side or challenge presented against the morals and ethics associated with being involved with Cannabis as a product produced and offered for sale organically, when the players respect the game. I love all the aspects about Cannabis that the government has not and will not be able to tarnish.

Cannabis had been pigeon holed into counter culture realms because of it’s illegal status. Drug culture has always intertwined with sex culture. So it was surprising that I was never able to find anything fun and sexy to infuse into my wild life unfolding.

I have spent the last couple of years branching out, networking, designing, auditing conventions & events, failing, winning, LEARNING- using every resource that presents itself to dig deeper into what I want. I have had people come, stay and go from my team who have done amazing work, 3 manufacturers in China in pocket to date, networked Ganja Vibes into knowing & interacting with major players in adult novelty & public cannabis platforms nationally and internationally.

All this has kept me busy while biding my time working out the manufacturing side of ‘what is’ Ganja Vibes.

Our latest big move, the transferring of our molds to a badass manufacturer with over 25 years experience in sex toy manufacturing and everything we could ever imagine to find success in the adult novelty market, has our back end coming full circle.

The Cannabis and Adult novelty industry move fast. If you have a great product someone will copy & sell it. One of the biggest challenges faced by companies that create a product in demand is meeting said demand. As much as I would have liked to produce and sell the earlier designs, I was not ready to overcome the obstacles that were presented prior to our latest alliance.

The Mary Jane Vibrator is on it’s way. Designed by myself and one of my best friends, Chip, who was an industrial engineer for NASA at the time we collaborated. Not only is the Mary Jane Vibrator Nasa grade design but it’s made for cannabis enthusiasts BY freaky ass cannabis enthusiasts.

As the line grows, my focus remains on multi-functional play toys that invoke the spirit of curiosity and light the fires of experimentation while lovingly leading you to ecstasy found in places unknown. While you light your bowls, dabs, spliffs or what have you alongside.

These toys are meant for personal use of course, but partner play is really where I was hoping they’d be utilized most. I have designed items that look fun, aren’t overly girly, have multi-applications and above all scream WEED!

Get ready to get high and get off. Play with each other, be wild, be free, be kinky!

love,
HeatherB

 

Be Careful Not to Criminalize Fantasies

The power of fantasy lies in the capacity to explore, without restriction, the inner recesses and outer limits of our psyche. For many, it is enough to have the imaginary encounter, and it need never be breathed to another soul. For others, the desire to explore the fantasy takes hold and pushes us to seek like-minded explorers with whom we can share our innermost desires. In our everyday lives we are limited by morality, legality and prevailing social mores, but we are free to dive into rich and florid — or even lurid — fantasies safely in our minds.

For those who have explicit fantasies that seem outside of the sexual “norm,” there can be a great deal of shame and guilt associated with the exploration of these themes, even in the privacy of one’s own thoughts. Some shun these desires as “deviant” and seek to banish them. For others, the drive to manifest the fantasy is irresistible. The longing for validation can motivate people to overcome strict upbringings, banish guilt and shame, and find camaraderie. It can push them to find or create space where those desires won’t be judged, but instead shared. It can be an incredible relief to know you’re not “the only one” with your particular “kink.”

With negotiation and consent, it can be healthy to discuss and explore explicit fantasies that seem outside of the sexual norm.

Many people find such a safe space in an online community where all the participants share fantasies of extreme sexual adventure. The communities should be all about consent: all parties consent to be a part of the conversation, and, if there is any thought that the secret desire should manifest, consent must be explicit, ongoing and mutual.

Fantasizing is healthy. Talking about fantasies with others can be healthy. Negotiating and fulfilling fantasies with consenting parties can be healthy. None of this should be illegal. But planning to fulfill your fantasy upon an unwitting stranger without his or her consent has no place in the practice of consensual BDSM. Objectifying other human beings – making them the fodder for your fantasies – is not necessarily a violation of consent. However, if the fantasy is to manifest, mutual consent, negotiation and personal safety are of paramount importance.

Manifesting an “edgy” fantasy is something that is negotiated and proceeds only if all parties involved actively consent to participate. In the BDSM realm, the gray area between fantasy and reality is full of negotiation: mutual expression of desire, consent, agreements to terms of safety, arrangements for after-care, etc. For instance, if I have a fantasy of being overpowered and ravaged, it absolutely does not mean that I have a desire to be abducted and sexually assaulted by a stranger. That fantasy might simply be a daydream I use to explore my own private pleasure. And yes, I may even choose to explore it with another consenting partner. However, transparency in motive and careful negotiation of how to bring the fantasy to fruition is absolutely necessary.

By seeking out like-minded people online and offline, you increase the opportunity to bring a secret desire to reality – blissful, risky, exhilarating and healthy reality.

Mollena Williams, an alternative sexuality educator and blogger, is a co-author of “Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities.”

Rap Music & Sex Culture

5 ‘Deviant’ Sex Acts That Science Says Are Good For You

By J. F. Sargent June 17, 2014

Sex is like a lifelong normalcy contest. To find happiness, you should spend every day worrying about the kinds of sex you like, and whether you’ll ever meet someone else who shares those likes. Then you comfort your untouched body by rubbing your hands all over it, wet though they may be with the sweat of anxiety and sadness. Ha! No, don’t do that. That sounds awful, and besides, if you spend all your time worrying, when will you have time to bone? You won’t! You will remain unboned, maybe forever.

So here’s my real-life advice for you, which I want you to remember forever — instead of worrying about what kind of sex you like (or, even worse, what kind of sex other people like, because nothing could ever be less important than something you don’t want to see and no one wants to show you), use this rule of thumb: “The freakier the sex, the better it is for me, according to science.” For example:

#5. BDSM Is Good for Your Psychological Health

Hemera Technologies/PhotoObjects.net/Getty Images

“BDSM” is an acronym that covers every weird, outlandish, disgusting, terrifying, and degenerate sex act that everyone you know is intimately familiar with (yes, everyone). If you’re a freak, then you know exactly what I’m talking about, and if the only thing you like is missionary position while a saxophone plays, then you’re the only person like that, and we’re all a bit scared of you.

abadonian/iStock/Getty Images
At least be more interesting than ladybugs.

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but everyone fucks weird. I seriously can’t stress this enough. The next time you’re in the living room of a friend or family member, look around. The old high school heirlooms have been in asses. That “funny” horse mask has been worn while boning. Why would anyone own more than one scarf if they weren’t using it to tie people up? Every belt is a collar, every tie is a blindfold, every sock has been stuffed into someone’s mouth. A friend of mine once asked me to help him move his dentist chair into his new apartment and no one even asked for or offered any explanation, because we all know what’s up with that, don’t we. OK, I’m lying a bit: I wasn’t sorry to be the one to tell you that at all.

Anyway, this is why society is crumbling, surely. That crazy shit can’t be good for you, which is why the DSM-V lists BDSM as an example of “paraphilia,” or “unusual sexual fixation.”

Why It’s Secretly Good for You:

Folks who indulge in BDSM are psychologically healthier than people who don’t. That’s right: Everyone who got irrationally angry at those last few paragraphs are less sane than the people who didn’t, and that’s the least shocking sentence I’ve ever written. People who indulge in the ol’ spanky-spank (or whatever) are more extroverted and open to new experiences (duhhhhhh), but also less neurotic, anxious, and paranoid. They were also more secure in their relationships, though that may have been because their partners were currently chained to their bed and hahaha, what a dumb and obvious joke.

#4. Polyamory Makes for Stronger Relationships

Anthony Ong/Digital Vision/Getty Images

“Polyamory” is a fancy Greek word for “open relationship,” which is a fancy English phrase for “We can fuck whomever we want, but we still love each other.” I am not a polyamorist, mainly because the very idea defies the real, human emotions that form the foundation of every relationship: jealousy, possessiveness, and not wanting your partners to enjoy themselves unless you’re sweating all over them.

Image Source/Digital Vision/Getty Images
My girlfriend hates seeing movies with me.

Why It’s Secretly Good for You:

Science says that polyamorous relationships are the best kind, but why would I trust Science? He’s just the guy who hangs out behind the 7-Eleven near my house and sells me experimental bear tranquilizers. He says all kinds of crazy shit. So I did some research and discovered that Science is, perhaps coincidentally, totally right. The reasoning is pretty simple: Because both parties are out there sowing their wild oats, or having wild oats … sown in them (I’m not sure what the female version of the euphemism is), communication becomes even more necessary.

For example: Polyamorous Charlie will say, “Hey, I like to fuck all the time, but sometimes you’re at work or whatever, so how about I fuck other people?” and then Polyamorous Ashley is all, “Hey that’s cool, dawg,” because that’s how they all talk. Bam. Communication. And as we all know, communication is the most important part of a relationship.

According to Science.

#3. Casual Sex Is Awesome (If You Do It for the Right Reasons)

Angel Herrero de Frutos/iStock/Getty Images

According to the nation’s insane old people, all the young kids with their pumped-up kicks are too focused on casual sex and ugly-bumping, and it’s destroying them as people. Look, you sluts, it’s not hard to explain: Every time you have sex, you give part of your soul to that person, so if you have too much sex, you’ll only have a little sliver of your own soul left, and what will you have received in return?

Oh, obviously, you get the soul of everyone you ever stuck it to. Sleeping around works the exact same way as the soul-stealing spell in Skyrim and that is just so rad. Or maybe every sex partner you’ve ever had is a Horcrux, and all those soul shards you’re carrying around are giving you magic powers. Right? No matter how you interpret this information, it makes casual sex better.

SKapl/iStock/Getty Images
Play the field hard enough, and you will become an immortal sorcerer-god.

Why It’s Secretly Good for You:

I sorta went off on a tangent there, but I’m back on track now. According to actual science and not my dumbshit conjecture, casual sex actually is good for you — but only if you do it for the right reasons. The crazy, doom-saying old folks are at least partially correct: Casual sex is bad for you if you’re doing it to drown out your own lack of self-worth and feelings of inadequacy. But if you just like rubbing your genitals all over other people’s genitals, then it’s actually great for your self-esteem.

Now that I’ve typed it out, that seems like an obvious distinction. That applies to everything, right?

“I enjoy carrots!”

“Good, because carrots are good for you!”

“I eat eight bags of carrots every night because otherwise I never stop crying.”

“Well, OK, then you might have problems.”

Scott Griessel/iStock/Getty Images
“Like the fact that you’re a carrot slut.”

I know what you’re thinking: “Sarge, all this stuff is pretty taboo, but what about the real gross stuff?” I’m glad you asked.

#2. Period Sex Relieves Menstrual Cramps

pavlinec/iStock/Getty Images

Hahaha eeewwwww.

Why It’s Secretly Good for You:

Please don’t skip this entry. I know you want to, because everyone is super grossed out by period blood, but I think it’s really important that we talk about it. While I know your hand is hovering over the scroll button, just itching to blast past this warm, drippy, and vaguely chunky entry on my article about body fluids, I’m going to ask you to please stop. Just for a second, stop.

korionov/iStock/Getty Images
Stop.

And read this entry just like you would any other. I promise it’ll be good for you.

Anyway, it turns out that “parting the red sea” or whatever the hell you want to call it can help alleviate the more uncomfortable symptoms of the menstrual cycle because, in the words of my source, “the orgasmic contractions of the uterus offer a soothing internal massage.” Feel free to get those words tattooed on your bicep.

Plus, a lady’s nether bits tend to be more sensitive during her period, which makes sex even better than normal. So instead of poring over all the instruction manuals the Internet has to offer …

Me. I did that.
Well done.

… put a towel down, quit being a baby, and proceed as normal.

#1. Masturbating at Work Is Good for the Economy

AmmentorpDK/iStock/Getty Images

This is gonna be a tough sell, and I’m pretty sure no one in the Cracked office will ever want to meet my gaze in the hallway again, especially if I’m heading toward the bathroom. But I don’t care. I’m not doing this for my co-workers. I’m not even doing this for me. I’m doing this for freedom.

I think this section deserves its own subtitle:

Why Rubbing One Out in Your Office Bathroom Will Save America
by JF Sargent (Age 26)

There’s little dissent between the scientific and 12-year-old-me communities that one should masturbate as much as possible, although there are two arguments for it. My argument has always been that that Victoria’s Secret catalog is taking up otherwise valuable Terry Pratchett bookshelf real estate, so I may as well put it to use, while the scientific community insists that it’s because masturbation protects against prostate cancer in men and does about a thousand awesome things for women. I’m not sure what a tented cervix is, but that’s fine — why would I need to know that? It’s also worth noting that masturbating improves your mood, which is obvious, but important because I want to point out that being happy makes you live longer. In short, lots of masturbation = a long, happy life.

Now turn your eyes, squinted with effort and pleasure though they may be, to the workplace. According to this meticulously researched and brilliantly written article, science says that any business’ elderly employees consistently “are more productive, are more loyal, and make more money than their younger counterparts,” and yes, I did just quote myself. The only people more valuable than the old employees are the happy employees, since sad employees will destroy a company’s chances for survival. The implications are obvious: If we don’t allow employees to masturbate in the workplace, we may be putting the future of our entire civilization in jeopardy.

What This Means for You

Siri Stafford/Digital Vision/Getty Images

The overall trend is clear: Freakier sex means better lives. And we need to utilize this information in the place this matters most: the world of politics.

If we want our world leaders to be mentally stable, with a strong bedrock of emotional fortitude and the physical well-being to lead long, healthy lives, then we need to make sure they know how to get freaky in the sack. From now on, I propose that every candidate running for public office should base their campaign platform on how imaginative their sex life is. Scratch that: Instead of “should,” let’s make that “must.” Sexlections are my prediction for the future. Which means your job is clear: You must go buy every item on these lists (and this video) and spend the rest of your life working to become the hyper-sane sorcerer-god fuck machine we need, and lead our people to a new golden age.

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For legal reasons, JF Sargent must clarify that he does not masturbate in the bathroom of the Cracked offices any more than you might expect. Follow him on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-deviant-sex-acts-that-science-says-are-good-you_p2/#ixzz35DIwUoIh

29 Hilarious Uses For Sex Toys Around The House

BY SEAN JAMESON

We decided to put some sex toys to work around the house.

1. Fake Vagina Dish Towel Holder

Keeping those dish towels close by, but out of the way can be a tricky proposition. Thankfully we’ve found a tasteful and elegant solution with a tight grip to fit seamlessly with your kitchen.

2. Suction Cup Dildo Loo Roll Holder

Looking for a tasteful way to add some “je ne sais quoi” to your bathroom without spending a fortune? Hello Kitty toilet paper optional…

3. Ring Toss With Butt Plugs & Cock Rings

Your son may be begging for the latest video game console, but remind him that stretching your imagination is important as sometimes the simplest games are also the most pleasurable.

4. Dildo Door Stop

Say “No” to scuffs, scratches and unsightly scrapes with this unobtrusive door stop.

5. Butt Plug Juicer

A perfect way to start your day is with some freshly squeezed, organic orange juice.

Here it is in action!

6. Sex Doll Fashion Mannequin

Not sure what to wear tomorrow? Why not use a fashion mannequin to figure out what pieces work best together.

7. A Lousy Coat Hook

Unfortunately, some things don’t always work out as planned

8. Penis Extender Chair Leg Protectors

Save your floor from scratches and scuffs by using these colorful chair leg protectors.

9. Fake Vagina Pen Holder

Always have a pen at the ready to write down your deepest ideas.

10. Wrist Restraints Curtain Tieback

Lack of lighting can dampen the mood of most rooms. So use a good curtain tieback that will hold any curtain away from the window, no matter how much it struggles, fights and tries to get away…

11. Fake Vagina Cigarette Filter

While we’re anti smoking at the Bad Girl’s Bible, some people do enjoy a cigarette after sex.

12. Anal Bead Necklace

If you’re on a budget and don’t want to drop more money on jewelry, then it’s time to improvise…

13. Giant Dildo Bookend

“A cluttered house is a cluttered mind”, that’s a phrase that’s so salient. So make sure to use a big, heavy bookend to keep your books tightly & firmly in place.

14. Nipple Clamp Glasses Necklace

Hands up if you ever have trouble finding your glasses! It happens to the best of us, but it doesn’t need to happen anymore with an adjustable glasses holder necklace

15. Pocket Pussy Beer Koozie/Stubby Holder

Nothing beats a cold, refreshing beverage on a hot summers day. Keep it cool with this simple tip

16. Penis Sleeve Sports Grips

A firm grip on your tennis racket or golf club ensures great ball control. The same can be said when you’re swinging for that shuttle cock.

17. Suction Cup Dildo Fridge Handles

It’s frustrating when the handle on your fridge breaks off. Even worse when the second one breaks too! Thankfully there is a stylish solution for opening and closing your fridge.

18. Butt Plug Wine Stopper

You’ll never need to worry about your wine spoiling again with this playful wine stopper.

19. Fake Vagina Headrest

Sitting for long periods without good neck and head support is silly if you care about your health. Thankfully this headrest makes your head & neck feel like they’re trapped between a little bit of heaven.

 

20. Double Ball Gag Ear Defenders

Working in loud, noisy environments can do long term damage to your hearing. Stay safe and keep things quiet with these opulent ear defenders.

21. Nipple Clamp Photo Holders

Hang your memories on the wall to remind yourself of times past.

22. Butt Plug Sink Plug

Sink plugs always seem to disappear without a trace. Now you have a back up plan.

23. Knuckle Duster Dildo Cable Organizer

No matter what you do, your headphones cables are going to get tangled with the rest of your computer cables…unless you take some aggressive action with a cable organizer.

24. Giant Dildo Lamp Base

After you choose a style of lamp you find attractive, make sure to check that it has a sturdy base.

25. Penis Extender Umbrella Handle

The last thing you want to let go of when there is a downpour is your umbrella. The right grip is essential if you don’t want to get your hair wet.

26. Lube Launcher Shot Glasses

Here’s a fun new way to get socially lubricated.

27. Rubber Fist Letter Holder

Organizing your mail just got a little easier thanks to this punchy mail holder.

28. Penis Pump Plunger

While the rest of these ideas are fun, this penis pump is just incredibly useful if you have a blocked sink or drain. It just sucks everything out of it. I’m totally serious by the way!

29. Rubber Fist Jewelry Model

Get jewelry inspiration and discover what fits best.

30. Penis Sleeve Car Customizations

All you ricers out there are gonna love the latest accessories to make your car look ridiculous.

If you enjoyed my tips in this article but want a true sex masterclass, then you may be interested in watching this blow job tutorial video where you’ll learn my most powerful techniques & tips for giving your man incredible oral sex. Enjoy!

29 Bizarre Life Hacks With…Sex Toys

Sex Addiction

We all have something to ‘deal with’. It’s important to know where behaviors stem from. Resentment, blame, shame, regret and all of the negative feelings adopted don’t have to exist. Understanding, love & forgiveness are so important. Always remember, in times of turmoil and uncompromising states of mind, to state- “this is me deal with it or leave it” is doing everyone, including yourself, a disservice. Your actions are chosen ‘behaviors’ which can change. Don’t sell yourself short.

http://www.sexaddictionscounseling.com/

Sex Addictions Counseling

Dr. Rory Reid of UCLA did research in 2007 and 2011 in which groups of men in treatment for sex addiction were assessed for ADHD and in which 23%-26% were found to meet the criteria for adult ADHD. Almost all of these (97%) were of the “predominantly inattentive type” rather than being predominantly hyperactive. (The prevalence of ADHD in the general population is 3-5% according to Reid.)

Can impulsivity or low self-concept explain the correlation?

Dr. Reid also gathered evidence about whether ADHD might be “driving” sex addiction due to the impulsivity of people with attention deficit as children.

He found that it is not impulsivity but the detrimental affects on self-esteem suffered by children with ADHD that causes them to seek to self-medicate with drugs or sex to cope with their poor self concept and low self confidence. (This argument rests on the fact that many adults with ADHD began as children with ADHD.)

The low self-esteem explanation makes sense in light of the fact cited by Dr. Reid that 11-35% of people with chemical dependency and pathological gambling also have adult ADHD.

Perhaps ADHD is so hard on children’s self esteem that they look for any drug they can find to cope with the pain. As children, virtually the only drug available is sexual self-soothing.

Posttraumatic dissociation may look like ADHD

Dr. Patrick Carnes has talked about sex addiction as, among other things, an “Attention Deficit Disorder.”

Problems that resemble what we think of as Attention Deficit Disorder are evident in those cases where the person has a traumatic history leading to dissociative splitting, or dissociative avoidance. In such cases the person cannot stay present and focused due to automatic reactions of fear learned earlier in life. They “zone out” or freeze.

Most sex addicts have experienced trauma in the form of disturbances in their early attachment bonds to their parents or caretakers. Maybe the addict’s inattentiveness and poor ability to focus in addicts is related to childhood experiences.

Diagnosing ADHD

I have worked with dozens of kids diagnosed with ADHD. It seemed to me that most of them had problematic attachment histories and dysfunctional families. I suspected that a large number of them were experiencing various trauma reactions, including dissociation rather than true ADHD. (The best assessments for ADHD incorporate a battery of neuropsychological measures rather than relying on pencil and paper tests. Such tests are more discriminating but they are not routinely used.)

So maybe these children were protecting themselves from stressful or traumatic life experiences like rejection, abandonment threats, or outright abuse by dissociating as a way to numb the pain.

As adults such people would “meet the criteria” for ADHD when in fact they simply had a life-long post traumatic response of detaching their attention and zoning out. These people would also be at risk for sex addiction and other addictions.

But this implies that many more addicts should have ADHD-like symptoms such as inattentiveness and distractability. In reality maybe they do.

Many sex addicts report ADHD symptoms when asked

More sex addicts feel that they have ADHD than are professionally assessed as meeting the criteria for ADHD. Dr. Reid also reported a study in 2004 in which sex addicts filled out self-report questionnaires. That study found that 67% of sex addicts subjectively reported symptoms of ADHD! This finding supports the idea that there is something else going on, something like post-traumatic splitting or dissociation.

The difficult question is which came first, a “true” attention deficit disorder followed by low self esteem and later by addiction, or the early stressful attachment history followed by all of the above?

Human Sexuality

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

Christopher Ryan, Ph.D. & Cacilda Jethá, M.D.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback.

One of NPR’s Favorite Books of 2010.

Winner of the 2011 SSTAR Consumer Book Award (Society for Sex Therapy & Research), and the Foundation for the Scientific Study of Sexuality’s Harriet and Ira Reis Theory Award in Sexology for 2011.

A Best Book of 2010 (Audible.com). 

“The single most important book about human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948.”
— Dan Savage

“Funny, witty, and light . . . the book is a scandal in the best sense, one that will have you reading the best parts aloud and reassessing your ideas about humanity’s basic urges well after the book is done.”
— Newsweek

“[Sex at Dawn] helps put the ‘human’ back in ‘human sexuality.’”
— AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists)

On an almost daily basis we are inundated with stories about the collapse of the latest celebrity marriage—and infidelity is almost always the cause of the break up. Is it even possible for two people to stay together happily over an extended period of time? Since Darwin’s day, we’ve been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. But it doesn’t, and never has.

Mainstream science—as well as religious and cultural institutions—has long maintained that men and women evolved in nuclear families where a man’s possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman’s fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married and divorce rates keep climbing while adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.

In SEX AT DAWN, renegade researchers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá debunk almost everything we “think we know” about sex.

Ryan and Jethá show how our promiscuous past haunts our current struggles regarding monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. Some of the themes they explore include:

• why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many;
• why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens;
• why many middle-aged men risk everything for an affair;
• why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and
• what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality

Ryan and Jethá show that our ancestors lived in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, often overlooked evidence from anthropology, archeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature sexual monogamy really is. They expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.

In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, SEX AT DAWNunapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do. A controversial, idea-driven book that challenges everything you know about sex, marriage, family, and society.

Paperback edition was released on July 5, 2011.

Sex at Dawn is available now in the U.S, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Finland, Spain, and Korea. Coming soon in Japanese, Chinese, Polish, Ukrainian, Russian, Romanian, Slovenian, Czech, and Albanian. If you know any publishers in Germany, France, Italy, or Portugal, tell them to get with the program already!

Check out Christopher’s blogs at Psychology Today and Huffington Post.
To say hello, request an interview or media appearance, please use the contact form on this site.

source: http://www.sexatdawn.com/

Sex sells, Smoking hot

When the world was introduced to the act of smoking, Sex was one major selling point.

You’d find cigs being marketed all the way into the waters of marine biologists & ruff n tumble cowboys alike.

Then there were the handsome, slick haired debonair types that were sure to steal your heart through a few ‘oh shaped’ smoke rings. Alluding, “Come on baby, be sexy with me, let’s smoke.”

 

Today sex is used to sell anything and everything everywhere & still especially in smoking culture. So much so that we are now attempting to find the relation between many products of Cannabis industry & them having any association with sex what so ever.

It’s a beautiful thang when the sexually inhibited break out of the bonds of sensual mental slavery. Congratulations!

Sex, sexy, sexual, steamy, hot, desire…go ahead, own it!

Although sex has sold many cigarettes….the HIGH is what sells actual Cannabis.

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5 Truths About Sexual Fetishes (A Dominatrix’s Perspective)

The stereotype goes that when it comes to sex, men are as simple-minded as dogs. (“Come on, we all know guys are only after one thing!”) Well, as someone with a few years’ experience as a dominatrix and phone sex operator, I’m here to tell you that could not possibly be more wrong. Male desire ranges from the merely kinky to the incredibly bizarre, and men are often so tortured by it that they’re not comfortable talking to anyone about it — not their closest friends, and certainly not their wives.

But they are comfortable talking to me, and here’s what I’ve found over the years …

#5. Certain Fantasies Are Way, Way More Common Than You’d Think

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Before becoming a professional phone sex operator and in-person ball crusher, I knew that men thought about sex a lot — but I didn’t realize just how deep and creative their fantasies could be. Inside every pervert beats the heart of a Tolstoy.

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And sometimes they want to be beat with War and Peace.

Phone sex isn’t cheap, at least good phone sex isn’t, and in-person dom sessions can at the high end cost as much as a used car. So the vast majority of my clientele are upper-middle-class guys in their 40s to 60s — I have a slew of doctors, lawyers, professors, business executives, and even a minister or two, all of whom have elaborate fantasy worlds they seem to use as a kind of relief valve to alleviate some of the stress of their high-power positions. I’m just the Sherpa that guides them through their kink.

For instance, one thing that hit me about this job is the insane amount of men who fantasize about being feminized and humiliated, or forced to cross dress. Men cross-dress for a ton of different reasons, but the most surprising thing is just how incredibly common it is. In my daily life, I find myself looking at guys’ asses to check for panty lines. And I find them, constantly.

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“Boyshorts, dude. Support and concealment.”

I’d also say about 75 percent of my callers have homosexual-type fantasies, a lot of whom hate that they have them. I had a caller the other day get freaked out that he was getting so turned on by the thought of getting down on his knees and sucking his girlfriend’s (fantasy) cock. He hung up, then called back to apologize. I had to tell him that fantasizing about a dick in your mouth doesn’t necessarily make you gay (“Honey, calm down. Most cultures consider the phallus a symbol of power. You may just getreally turned on about submitting to your girlfriend”).

If that makes it sound like what I do is more a form of therapy than a sexual outlet, well, it’s both. But we’ll come back to that in a moment …

#4. The Fetishes Often Have Shockingly Little to Do With Sex

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When you think of phone sex, you probably imagine a woman’s breathy voice saying that she’s lying on her bed, wearing her favorite black lace lingerie, and that you sound so hot she just has to touch herself. After that, you get a soundtrack to your wank session composed of moaning and her telling you what a stud you are.

In real life, not so much. I’ve found most guys would rather watch free porn than spend $1.99 per minute for something so mundane (thanks Internet), so the guys who call me are looking for … something a little different.

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“You’re a fuck dragon; your name is Falcor. I start scratching you behind your ear …”

Like the shrinking fetishists. That’s a really common phone fantasy — they like me to describe them shrinking down to about an inch in height, give or take, then picking them up, dropping them in the toilet, and flushing them away. Then there’s the vore guys (as in “carnivore”) — guys who fantasize about being eaten. I have one who likes me to describe how I will truss him up, put him in a big roasting pan (complete with chopped-up carrots, potatoes, celery, and onions), sprinkle him with salt and pepper (he always manages to sneeze for me when we get to that part), baste him in butter (“Ohhh it’s sooo slippery isn’t it, having that butter drip all over your body …”), and pop him in the oven (at 450 degrees).

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Slow and low at 275 if it’s payday.

Sometimes I get to play a more traditional sex icon, like with the guy who likes me to be dressed as a Playboy bunny … then magically turn him into a carrot, use the carrot as a dildo, and eat him (the grossest part is he wants me to dip him in ranch dressing to eat … I hate ranch). And it’s my job to walk him through it, in extreme detail. “Close your eyes. I want you to feel the tips of your fingers getting longer, your legs merge together, an orange tinge comes to your skin, your hair gets leafy.”

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“Rinse me, but don’t peel … leave it a little dirty …”

Then there are the looners (as in “balloon fetishists,” not “lunatics”). They like to hear balloons being blown up and popped. That’s it — I have taken calls on my cellphone while walking into a store, buying a 100 pack of balloons, sitting in my car blowing them up, then popping them. All of them.

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In real life I always use a condom.

And then there’s the yak guy. He just wants me to carry on our conversation in the language of the yak people. We talk about the weather, sports, news, music, and movies all in a made-up yak language. It’s hard to find somebody who’ll play along with something like that, without judging, or getting weirded out. That’s why I have a job.

Some of these fetishes I understand, some I don’t — I understand how the endorphin rush of pain might turn someone on (it doesn’t do anything for me, personally). Ditto the guys who like the hardcore degradation — physical and emotional pain is felt by the same part of the brain. But the truth is, whether they use the word “paraphilia,” “fetish,” or “interest,” scientists are only just starting to catalog the vast, weird (moist) panoply of desire.

#3. Maintaining the Illusion Is Crucial to Them

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The actual work itself — whether on the phone or in person — is actually the easiest part of this job. Marketing is where things get tough, because it involves maintaining a number of concurrent illusions. My clients can choose from six “characters,” and each of these girls has her own life. Each of my characters has a blog and a twitter, and I update both several times a week. So-and-so isn’t available to talk Monday through Friday until after 5 pm, because she is a high school biology teacher, and so-and-so isn’t available on Friday night because she is a 22-year-old party girl. Then I’ll go to different fetish message boards, Yahoo groups, and chat rooms and participate in those communities with a link back to my blog or profile.

JDate, Christian Mingle
I’m on JDate and Christian Mingle.

So while the nice thing about this job is being my own boss, the hard thing about it is also being my own employees. When you’re on social media, you’re acting at the same time as you’re advertising your services and performing market research to figure out which fetish stocks are more erect right now. It’s not an easy job, but it does have some serious perks.

I love football (go Steelers!) and so do a lot of my guys. This has turned into a pretty lucrative business opportunity over the years. I’ll talk with clients ahead of time and tailor a bunch of rules to their kink. Some guys like orgasm control, so every touchdown they’ll have something new to do without, uh, finishing. One toy I use is this device called the “humbler,” which stretches a client’s balls back for easy swatting. I’ve done paid in-person sessions during football games where I’d use that on the client every time there was a fumble or a turnover.

IdreamofJeanie
I’ve included this picture of a humbler because it’s the only one that doesn’t actively show balls.

If you’re wondering at what point in that process we actually have sex, well …

#2. Being a Dominatrix Doesn’t Involve Intercourse

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Many people think that being a dominatrix means being a high-end prostitute. I mean no offense to prostitutes, but that is not my job. I’ve never ever had sex with any of my clients, and I never ever would.

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Which means I’m just like every other profession that’s completely misrepresented in porn.

That’s not what it’s about, and in fact that would actually ruin our whole dynamic, if they were to see me in a vulnerable, naked state. There’s a reason why you picture black leather or latex catsuits when you think of a dominatrix. Contact between in-person clients and myself would, at most, mean letting them be a human footstool or getting a well-placed slap across their little bitch faces. Once again, for many guys, it’s not about the sex act — it’s something much more complicated. A need they can’t get filled anywhere else.

Now, there are guys who do want to cross that line — some have trouble seeing the difference between me, the real person, and the character they’re paying to stick clothespins on their cock. That’s one reason I’ve actually phased out most of my in-person domming sessions in favor of phone sessions, because hey, I get to work in my PJs. I work for a phone sex company as well as owning my own business working through a platform, so my take-home pay is between 70 cents and $1.19 per minute for my time. For physical sessions, I usually charge between $100 or $200 per hour. It’s good money, and none of it requires showing off any more skin than the average nun.

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And shit, if that’s what they want, I can do that too.

Think about that — all that time, and all that money, working through men’s sexual fantasies, and there’s never any actual nudity or actual sex. I’m just helping people act on the sexual fantasies in their mind, involving fetishes so specific and peculiar they’d never naturally come across another person who shares them. Which again brings us around to the real reason I stay so busy …

#1. For Many Guys, This Is the Therapy They’re Not Getting Elsewhere

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You’d be surprised how much time I spend talking to my clients. Well, obviously, but I mean talking. You know the kind of talking the stereotypical girlfriends of the world always want. Emotional support is a much bigger aspect of the job than you’d expect. Not only do I have to get the guys off, I have to then assure them afterward that they aren’t weird.

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Keep in mind sometimes they have just instructed me to tell them the exact opposite.

That’s why I work really hard on trying to understand the fetishes my clients have. For balloon popping, it’s the anticipation; for the shrinking guys, it’s the loss of power; for the yak guy … actually I haven’t figured that one out yet. Psychotherapists are starting to recognize the value sex work can play in therapy, though. Australia’s currently gripped in a debate over whether or not their national disability insurance should cover “sex surrogates” (if you’re interested, there’s a documentary called Scarlet Road you should watch).

I’ve had guys who were coming out to their family who came to me first for support, to get pumped up. I’ve had a guy stop in the middle of a call and start crying, because he missed his ex-wife and needed to talk about it. I’ve given relationship advice — hell I have even checked out guys’ online dating profiles so I could give them pointers from a woman’s perspective.

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“Don’t mention produce or bovine animals until at least the fifth date.”

I actually had one client who was into extreme humiliation — he was black, and racial degradation was his particular turn-on. I got so hard on him during one session that he broke down and started crying. I wound up learning that he’d grown up in a very strict household, where men weren’t allowed to show emotion. Our session was the first time he’d ever broken down and cried about all of the horrible stuff he’d encountered as a kid. Getting that emotional release helped him deal with some demons. He never did another session with me, but he thanked me by email afterward, and now every week for the last few years he’s sent me a $100 check as thanks.

Robert Evans runs Cracked’s Personal Experience department and can be reached here. His friends run a farm and are trying to fight bandits. If you’d like to donate, he’ll love you forever.

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Related Reading: Still feeling sexy? We wrote an article with an actual real-life prostitute to make that feeling better, uh, informed. We also talked to a cop about his crazy stories, because Cracked listens to BOTH sides of the law. If you’d like to get pissed off, take a look inside the Troubled Teen industry. And if you’ve got a story to share with Cracked, you can tell it here.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_20963_5-truths-about-sexual-fetishes-a-dominatrixs-perspective_p2.html#ixzz2vkAdT7QL

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